Fate (Create, Build, Destroy)

(8)*

So I wanted to do another piece of writing. 

But as all writers say to make excuses for not updating or not being so active:

I've had a writer's block.

So I wanna just spew out random crap here and now.

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Have you ever wondered why the world is as it is today? I mean sure there are plenty of positives. But there are so many negatives that run right alongside the good stuff. I see this negativity and pain every day. And I never pretend to not see it. I just never act upon it. 

I wanted that to change.

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Every one in this world one way or another goes through an unhealthy amount of stress, despair, low self-confidence, etc, etc, etc. There's so much I can't even list it all.

And sometimes it's just so so so hard to just break through and put a smile on your face. 

Believe me, I know. And anyone who knows me would call me a hypocrite right now. Why? Because somehow to them I can keep a smile on my face constantly. Always being positive and cheering them on like a soccer mom on the sidelines. 

And no. Despite what you think, I'm not bragging.  I'm just trying to show the meaning behind the actions that I make. 

After all,

My optimism is so much more to me. 

Because every time I make someone else feel a little better. I bring myself up too.

I got really tired of being an emo kid who didn't understand the meaning of good music and the idea of kindness in general. I was someone who just didn't feel as happy as I pretended to be. And no I was never depressed. The people in my life made sure of that. Life just seemed so repetitive and boring. Like there really wasn't anything to look forward to.

So in the end, I told myself: 

If I couldn't find joy right here by myself. Then why couldn't I help others find that joy? That joy that some were trying so hard to see. 

If I could smile and tell someone "It's going to be okay" and actually manage to lift their spirits the smallest fraction, then I wanted to do just that.

If they needed guidance, I wanted to be there. If they wanted to support, I was already there. If they needed a friend, I've been there waiting for 10 years. Okay, that one may have been a little creepy. I swear I'm not a stalker.

Anyways,

*Ahem*

I decided to be someone different.

It's not like I changed too much. I was already capable of smiling and being somewhat enthusiastic.

I just wanted to amplify that part of me.

And I did.

Creating who I am now.

And I've got to say it was worth it. I feel like my whole life, in general, has been somewhat pushed towards a new light that I refused to see before. 

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I know it's hard to see the light of things. But if you can just pick out the good things about what you have right now. I'm confident you'll be able to make it.

If you can't find anything, no matter how hard you look. Then keep looking.

 I swear if you can't find anything to live for, make that your reason.

Look for something to live for. Find that one person who appreciated your existence in this world and wants you to stand right next to them. As friends, as family, as a couple any relationship, that's worth holding on to. Is worth holding on to.

If you still can't find anything or anyone. Then I'm right here. And even if I don't know you. Or what kind of person you are. I'm willing to help you. To show you there is always something out there that's wonderful. I'll be your friend. 

So I implore you, reach out. Become someone that you're proud of. Become a person that has a purpose. Or maybe someone who has a purpose to find that purpose.

Cause I'll say it now. Dying is so much easier than living.

That's exactly the reason why we should keep fighting.

My fake smiles turned into real ones. Your depression, low self esteem, and constant doubt will change. And once they do change. They'll turn into something beautiful.

Think I'm lying? Try it yourself.

The only person that can change you is you. 

So try it.

CHANGE.

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The End to my random rant. If you like it please let me know! I accept all kinds of criticism! :D

Everything I said here is true and all opinion based. If I offended you in any way. Please talk to me.