The Death Of Me ✔️

paroxysm

Paroxysm
(n.) sudden outburst of emotion

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listen to the song above for this chapter
Waves - Dean Lewis
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Chapter 6

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Shaking uncontrollably, I look around for Shawn. He's gotta be here, where is he? My eyes land on that guy from earlier and a shiver ran down my spine. My eyes water, I can't cry. I need to fucking stop. Woman -the fuck- up.

I start scratching myself with my fingernails and turn around. "Tara? What the hell! What's wrong?" Shawn asks as he approached me. Just the sight of him made me want to cry my eyes out.

Oh stop being so dramatic and get a grip on yourself Tara!

He stopped the hand that was scratching my arm. "Tell me please. What happened?" He asked again.

I didn't know if I should tell him or not. I think I should.

"Calm down, Tara. Tell me what happened." He said and I took a deep breath.

"I was in the corner... he came..." I choke but start again, "from back and...." This time I start crying profusely, hiding my face in his chest. Thank god I was not loud. Shawn stumbled back and he might felt weird but I didn't care. I wanted my face hidden and I was getting that. He wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Who came Tara?" He asked. I pulled away. He was shrinking me in a way nobody could see my face.

"That guy...he came and he.... he touched me." I choke. Why was it so hard to say when my mind was replaying the scene over and over again?

That guy came from nowhere and touched my ass. No he didn't touch it, he grabbed it and told me how much he loved it, then stuffed his number in my pocket all the while caging me against bookshelf and his large hand was over my mouth.

Fucking. Sexual. Harassment.

"Who was that guy Tara? Can you tell me? Where did he touch you? I'll kick his ass, trust me." Shawn said as he held me by my shoulders. For some unknown reasons I trusted him. But when I opened my mouth to say something, nothing came out. I felt numb, and powerless. This feeling sucked, very much.

The person who touched me in the places I didn't want to be touched, without my will was right here in the same place as I was. Yet I still couldn't do anything about it.

The last time I checked, I wasn't so weak to let any person get away with it.

"Shawn he... he grabbed my ass and then he.. he.. stuffed his phone number in my pocket. I.. I couldn't do anything. I.." I started crying again.

Weak bitch is what I am.

"Fucking asshole, who was he? Tara who was he? I need you to tell me. C'mon, please tell me. Is he still here?" He asked and I nodded. That stupid dumb rat had some balls. Balls that'll be crushed soon. By me, of course.

"Holy fuck, can you point which one he is?" He asked

"I want to kick his ass." I told him. He smirked.

"Of course you will. You will not only kick his ass, but also punch him in the guts. Make him regret ever looking at you." He said and I nodded. My shaking had reduced by now. My body, my fucking wish. The thought that he owned my body, and could do anything he pleased is so sickening.