The Way We Speak Through Music

Chapter 20

Yoongi's POV

"Huh, Yoongi?", Y/N put down her violin and turned around to greet me

"Where were you?", is all I said in a rude manner to her after we had a fight and took some time to cool down and think about it, great job me

"I could ask you the same", I called her over and showed some pictures on my phone. It's actually spooky that someone took these with the intention of making us fight more, but my brain isn't functioning properly anymore

"Explain what's wrong with me having friends and meeting new people?"

"They're all male and you look like you're more than friends", she scoffed at my ridiculous accusations. I can feel how wrong and stupid this is but blood is boiling inside me and I'm extremely irritated

"Why is this guy holding your waist?"

"That's just Taeyong introducing me to his group"

"What about this?", I stopped at the picture of her dancing with someone

"That's Min-ho, a trainee. Okay, now tell me what's your problem with this?"

"You're fine with this?"

"Yoongi, are you jealous?"

"No", I wanted to leave this conversation but she didn't let that happen as she grabbed me by the sleeve

I'm done with him running away

"Then what is it? Why won't you talk to me?"

"It's nothing"

"Can you not lie to my face? Aren't I your best friend?"

"Don't push me"

"Maybe I will, maybe you need to be pushed over the edge so you finally speak your freaking mind!"

"I'm not jealous, I'm scared"

"You're... scared", after a slow nod to confirm that she heard me correctly, she'll witness my first mental breakdown ever. I sobbed in my palms while kneeling and Y/N joined me on the floor to hug me and caress my hair. Did she finally manage to break the hard shell from the outside?

"I'm scared of not being good enough and losing everything", my breathing is shallow and unsteady, I'm feeling so pathetic but even so she's showing me a warm supportive smile

"I got so much in a short period of time, it could all disappear in a blink of an eye the same way it came. What would I do if I weren't a musician? What if I stop getting fans, what if I fail somehow and-"

"Yoongi", she cupped my swollen face and continued

"You know what I used to tell you when we were kids and you hade similar fears", how could I ever forget

"Keep your head cool and your heart warm"

"And your head is overheating right now"

"It is?"

"Yes, so calm down and listen to me for a moment. Nothing will disappear overnight, you worked too hard for it to break down so easily", I'd be more than glad to listen to your soothing voice

"What if... what if I lose you?", her lips parted to answer but nothing came out. Is she really surprised by that?

"Is that why you overreacted?"

"Yes..."

"Yoongi, I'm not leaving you"

"You're not?"