Saving Hope

Ｐｏｉｓｏｎ

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused anyone. I'm sorry that I'm the way I am. I'm sorry I'm me. I'm changing in ways I cannot explain. Not too long ago, my mind used to be a beautiful place, a place designed in positivity and hope. I let a poison in and the poison swam through, it decided to redecorate the place in negativity and dread. It didn't ask for permission, instead it started with changing the little things. When I questioned it the poison leaned in and whispered to me; it told me it was here to protect me. Staying positive lead to me lying to myself, and getting my hopes up killed my spirit painfully. Every light I ever known was blown out like a candle. I'm surrounded by darkness and when people try to spare me their light, it's as if I'm jealous, or maybe I'm just clumsy, because I tend to knock their light out too. The poison created a maze in my head, now I must find my way out with no light, no guide, and no motivation. The me that everyone used to love and cherish is hidden. She's afraid of the dark, so she has nowhere else to go. She's a coward. She's misunderstood. The poison has taken over, it has night vision and controls the headquarters. My heart is beating, air is in my lungs, my chest is heaving, my cells are duplicating, my blood is coursing, but even so, I question if I'm living.