lost

reminiscing

            when i was little, i used to write in a secret journal that i would hide underneath my bed, or in between pillow covers. i never had a lock because why would you need one if no one was going to read it besides you?

        i wish i got a lock, though. because jasper found it during a sleepover we had in the eighth grade. it kept my secrets. but not all of them. i had to keep some in my head, of course. i wrote down stuff from my current crushes, to the people i despised, from what i ate today. it was full of random shit that i thought would be embarrassing if anyone ever found out.

        and i was beyond mortified when jasper was reading them aloud that night.

                flashback to that night:

                "jimmy was so cute today in his new running shoes—“ jasper said suddenly, in a girly voice in which i turned my head towards him.

                “what?”

                “—and cynthia gave me this really weird look that made her face look really, really ug—“

                “what are you on about?” i ask, confused.

                “just reading things that happened in the sixth grade, no big deal.”

                and then it dawned on me.

                “no…” i whispered and saw he was flipping pages in a certain secret-keeper that was now no longer secretive. i then lunged at him full force and tried to grab the pink journal out of his grasp. he waved it around higher and all i thought was, ‘darn my small height’.

                “why do you got one of these things anyways? i never knew you had one,” he says, laughing.

                “you wouldn’t have known if you weren’t snooping,” i mumble, as he hands me back my journal.

                “don’t worry, i didn’t read all of it, ” he reassures and pats my back.

                “you swear?”

                “actually…”

                “you better run, jasper evans. ” i deadpan.

                “i don’t need to be told twice.”

                with that jasper sprinted off, and that’s how we broke two vases that night.

                end of flashback.

               

                it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since he’s been “missing”, yet i miss him terribly and my hands are shaking. but before i even know it, an hour later i’m sitting on my bed with a brand new journal on my lap. one that has a key this time.

                even though he’s not here to read them at the moment, i wanted to keep them safe anyways.

                and i wanted to keep jasper safe where ever he is. knowing him, he’ll probably come back tomorrow laughing about all of this and my “journal”.

                yeah. he’ll be back tomorrow. i’m sure of it.