entry: sixty-seven

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date: 1/5

                jay found one of our pictures of just the two of us:

                “who’s this cutie?”

                “huh?”

                “him,” she pointed to the picture. i feel my heart drop. “are his eyes blue or green—hey, are you crying?”

                “no,” i lied, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. “and they’re jade. they’re jade.”

                “is this…” she trailed off, looking at the picture.

                i nodded and she looked at me with wide eyes, then ran over to hug me while apologizing many times. i told her she didn’t know what you looked like because i never really did describe what you looked like, and she made me tell stories about you.

                she even cried with me, jasper.

                why aren’t you here, too?

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