You Don't Have Me

Chapter 11

You practically melted into him. This was all you had wanted for as long as you could remember but now that you had it, you didn't want to rush into it. You were focused on memorizing his kiss: the way his lips felt, the way he tasted, everything. You never wanted to forget this moment.

In the almost ten years you and Tyler had been friends, this was the first time Tyler had really kissed you. Yeah, sure there were pecks here and there, drunk kisses that were meant for the cheek and soft New Years Eve kisses, but nothing like this.

"Tyler." You whispered. He only responded by kissing your neck, spending time at the base of it, practically sucking your collarbone. "C-Can we slow down?"

Listening to your words, he stopped. His eyes instantly finding yours, as he took half-step back. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. "You exhaled, still reeling from his touch. "I just, I just don't want to rush this." You finally said. He moved closer to you, his lips a centimeter from yours, your noses brushing up against each others. "Then we won't." He whispered, practically into you. You nodded, before putting your lips back onto his, reigniting the kiss. And, damn, were the fireworks real. It was a notion that you had never before believed in. But, here, now in his arms, your lips on his- you could feel the explosions. All the logic and reason you had in not rushing things, to savor everything was washed away. You needed more. You needed all of him, and you needed it now.

"Take me upstairs." You whispered onto his lips. He pulled back.

"I thought you said that we shouldn't rush this."

"I don't care what I said." And, you didn't. This wasn't only what you wanted, it was what you needed.

"Hold on." Tyler whispered, and you were confused. Hold on to what? He slid his hands which were wrapped around your back onto the back of your legs, practically cupping your ass, before lifting you up so your legs were wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck. You placed little kisses on his face and neck as he carried you carefully up the steps.

Gently, he laid you down onto the bed. You watched him as he took his shirt off before climbing on top of you. Your eyes meeting his, where you noticed hesitation clouding his.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He whispered.

"Yeah, are you?" All of a sudden, he was the more nervous one, which shocked you. He hesitated in his response. "Do you not want to have sex with me?" You asked, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"No. Oh god, no. I've wanted to have sex with you for years." He said instantly. "It's not you... "He trailed, trying to find the right words to say. "The old 'its not you, its me,' talk, Tyler, really?" You asked, getting up from under him. "Seriously?" You asked, incredulously.

He rubbed his hands over his eyes, frustrated with the situation. "No its not that."

"Than what is it?" You practically yelled.

"I am so scared that I'm going to screw this up." He said loudly, and with that you took a seat next to him on the bed, taking his hand in yours. "Can I tell you a secret?" You asked him, which prompted him to look at your puzzled expression laced on his face. "I'm scared too." He didn't speak, but he did respond with his lips, by placing a light kiss on yours. It wasn't filled with the same passion as the first time, but instead it came with a certain sense of security, and for that singular moment you felt invincible.

But, it wasn't long until it grew into more. Suddenly, you felt yourself shimming on top him, so that you were stradding his lap, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck, while his hands found their way to the hem of your shirt, lightly pulling on it signaling to you that it was time for it to come off. Your arms rose just enough for him to take it off of you.