You Don't Have Me

Chapter 17

As soon as the thought popped into your head you sprung into action, trying to go before the courage left your body. Opening your laptop up, you got on the internet and searched for flights. You had thought about just going to the airport and getting one there but that sounded complicated and the thought alone stressed you out. So, you booked one online. It left tonight, in approximately five hours, which gave you just enough time to pack and not talk yourself out of going.

You threw some clothes in a suitcase, not packing anything particularly cute but not not-cute either, because subconsciously you knew you were going to get him back, and you did want to look nice. But not like you were trying to look nice either- just effortlessly beautiful.

You thought about telling someone that you were leaving town, like Anna or one of your friends, but you knew they would talk you out, and you needed to get to the bottom of this- face to face. There would be no more drunk phone calls, or interruptions- just the two of you, trapped together until you reached a reasonable conclusion. And while you didn't want to, you were mentally prepared for the fact that you could potentially leave and return to Dallas as a single woman.

Surprisingly enough, though, the nerves only started to hit you as the plane started to take off. And as much as you tried to hide your emotions, you knew they were making their way to the surface.

"Nervous flyer?"

"Oh no. I'm just thinking."

"Anything in particular, you look nervous." You paused, not sure if you should trust the woman sitting next to you. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." She said. "I'm a psychiatrist."

Well, this is going to be a fun three hours.

"It's okay." You smiled lightly. "I'm going to see my ex-boyfriend." You hesitated at the end not knowing what to specifically call Tyler.

"Are you sure he's your ex?" She asked. "Sorry, you just sounded hesitant."

"Well, I don't know." You said before starting in on the long history between the two of you. Which, granted was unnecessary. But, it was nice go get the view of a third party, and she was obviously interested, as she kept asking you questions.

As you got her caught up, she stopped you. "So, essentially what you're telling me is that you're afraid that ultimately he'll hurt you if you tell him you love him."

"Well, I didn't think so." You trailed off.

Just out of curiosity, how have your other relationships ended?" She asked, and you began to think, glancing at the map on the screen telling you that you were right above Illinois. "Honestly, not well." You admitted. "I guess I don't have the best track record. And I just really don't want to screw this one up, yanno?"

She laughed lightly before nodding. "I think, because you've said that, you won't." She started in on how the mind makes decisions and a whole bunch of science-y things, but you kind of spaced out as you tried to wrap your mind around the whole conversation. "But." She started. "You need to tell him how you feel, honestly. That's the only way things are going to even start getting better."

You smiled at her, trying to conceal your anxiety ridden body, but you realized you hadn't been doing a good job, as she took your hand gently. Your head whipped back at her, surprised at the action, which was imminent on your face.

"You're shaking." She said, and you immediately felt embarrassed, having to practically be babysat by a person you had met just a few hours ago on a plane. "Don't be worried, especially because if he loves you as much as I think he does, the two of you will be fine."

"You think so?" You asked.

"I've been doing this a long time, and this is only the third time I've done a session on the plane." She laughed lightly, before putting in her headphones and flipping open her book, leaving you alone, to look out the window and think about what you were going to say. Or, rather how you were going to say it.

And, it took you the whole hour and fifteen minutes you had left in the flight to figure it out.

Thankfully, the airport wasn't super crowded so you were able to navigate it pretty easily, and since you only took a small duffel bag you didn't even need to wait at the baggage retrieval area. Now, all you needed to do was rent a car to his house, and since it was a Friday, you knew he would be up at the lake. You just prayed that he wouldn't have anyone else there, because, talk about awkward.

It took you about an hour to get a car, but once you did and started driving the familiar roads to his cottage, you could feel the biggest knots ever forming in your stomach. You didn't know whether or not this would be a good thing or a bad thing. But, either way, it was a thing you needed. So, you pulled into his driveway, putting your car in park before shutting off the engine, taking a deep breath before you slinging your duffel over your shoulder and stepping out of the car.

You walked up slowly, your whole body shaking, still giving yourself enough time to back out. But, as soon as you walked up to the door, you could hear the dogs start to bark. You heard Tyler try to shush them but it was no use as soon as you knocked on his door. You watched the knob as it turned open, seeing a disheveled Tyler in front of you, his jaw practically on the ground.

"Hi." You breathed, your eyes finding his.

"What are you doing here?" He froze as his trio of labs swarmed you, tails wagging and licking every inch of your legs.

"We need to talk." You said.