Part Six: I Tried Too Hard

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Inspired by the song "Almost Easy" by Avenged Sevenfold

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A/N: This chapter flips back and forth between Reader's and Dean's P.O.V. and there's not really a pattern to it, so sorry if it gets confusing... I tried.

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I feel insane every single time
I'm asked to compromise

  "Dean... um, wha-- what are you doing here?" you stammer. You could practically hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways
And that's the way it stays
So how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance?

  My breath caught in my throat as soon as I saw Y/N. I had so much to say to her, but I just couldn't find the words. The look on her face broke my heart.

By that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip

   Dean looked at you like a kicked puppy. His eyes watered up, and it took everything in you not to run up and hug him. So many emotions welled up inside of you and it made your head hurt. You were angry at him, but you were happy he looked for you, but your heart ached in despair at the thought of your previous relationship. He didn't answer you, just stood there and stared.

I'm not insane, I'm not insane

  My brain finally processed that I should probably say something. "I-- I had to find you, Y/N." I knew she didn't want to hear what I had to say, but I had to try. "I'm sorry..."

I'm not insane, I'm not - not insane

  Tears welled up in your eyes. "Why? Why do you care?"

Come back to me, it's almost easy
Come back again, it's almost easy

  Her words hit me like a freight train. The realization of how deep her pain went-- the thought of her hurting kills me.

Shame pulses through my heart
From the things I've done to you

  I stuttered, "I've always cared, Y/N... I-- I just..."

It's hard to face, but the fact remains
That this is nothing new

  "'You just' what? 'You just' got bored? Stopped trying?" Your words were harsh, but you had to let the pain out somehow.

I left you bound and tied with suicidal memories
Selfish beneath the skin
But deep inside I'm not insane.

  "No... baby, no. I... I didn't know what else to do. I thought I could protect you from getting hurt by me. I just... couldn't," I tried to explain.

I'm not insane, I'm not insane.
I'm not insane, I'm not - not insane.

  "Don't you dare 'baby' me, Winchester," you spat. "If you were trying to protect me then you probably shouldn't have ignored me." Tears slid down your cheeks as you spoke.

Come back to me, it's almost easy
Come back again, it's almost easy
Come back to me, it's almost easy
Come back again, it's almost easy

  "I thought if I distanced myself from you it would hurt less. I just couldn't see how stupid I was being..."

Now that I've lost you it kills me to say

  I was falling apart without her. Watching her break down in front of me caused my eyes to water and overflow, starting my crying. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry."

I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away.

  The tears that ran down his face almost made you run into his arms... but you just couldn't bring yourself to forgive and forget.

I'm losing the fight.

  "Why? Why did you do it, Dean?"

I've treated you so wrong, now let me make it right.

  "I was trying to protect you."

I'm not insane, I'm not insane.

  "I was trying to save you from me."

I'm not insane, I'm not - not insane.

  "Save me?" you shout. "Dean, all you ever did was lead me on. You claimed me and then threw me aside like one of your bar skanks! How is that protecting me from anything?!"

Come back to me, it's almost easy

  "I don't know!" I yell back at Y/N, just as loud. "I didn't know how to handle this! I couldn't keep myself from falling in love with you! I screwed up, Y/N, okay, that's what I do! That's what I've always done! I always end up hurting the people I love! I always let them down... Always!"

Come back again, it's almost easy

  "I love you, Y/N..." I sob. "I love you."

Come back to me, it's almost easy
Come back again, it's almost easy

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