Liar, Liar

Part Nine: It's Time

Inspired by the song "Ledges" by Noah Gunderson

*Dean's P.O.V.*

  I woke up to the sound of rain and the warmth of another person laying on my chest. I looked down at Y/N, still fast asleep, and sigh. She looked so peaceful. I will never be good enough for her, but I have to try.

I've got a lot of loose ends,

I've done some damage

I've cut the rope, so it frayed

  How do I make up for all the hurt I've caused her? I thought I was doing good, when really I was making everything worse. I let her down.

I've got a lot of good friends,

keeping me distracted

keeping my sanity safe

  It's time for me to start over. I've got to make this right. I've got to be better for her...

  As carefully as possible, I lift Y/N off of me and carry her from the couch to the bed, making sure she's covered up by the blanket. I remember her favorite breakfast is pancakes. Hurrying to the kitchen, I find all the ingredients and start putting it all together.

Here, I stand

on the edge of the ledges I've made,

Looking for a steady hand

  Y/N has always been my rock -- my anchor when life gets to hard. It's time for me to return the favor. She means everything to me and it's time I show her how much I love her.

  I pour the batter into the pan and start to cook, hoping she won't wake up quite yet. I haven't made pancakes in quite awhile, so I'm praying they won't burn.

Here, I stand

in the land of the rocks in the valley

  I finish baking and place the pancakes on a plate. Walking as carefully as I can to her bed, I place the place on the nightstand.

  "Y/N..." I say quietly. I kiss her forehead and her eyes flutter open. "G'mornin' gorgeous."

  She smiled. An actual, genuine smile. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. "Hey," she says, voice still groggy from sleep. "Do I smell pancakes?"

Trying to be a better man

For you

  I smile and point to the plate by her bed and her grin widens. She sits up and begins to eat with me. "These are really good, Dean," she says between bites.

  "Glad you like 'em, sweetheart."

And I drink a little too much,

it makes me nervous,

I've got my grandfather's blood

  After we finish eating, I put the plate away before sitting across from Y/N on the bed. The position is all to familiar, as we used to sit and face each other like this and talk before... before I screwed things up.

  "Y/N..." I say, "we need to talk."

  "I think that's a no-brainer, hon. I mean, we haven't actually 'talked' in months."

  "I know... and that is my fault. I just-- I thought if I didn't get closer, if I stepped back, you wouldn't get hurt. D--do you understand?"

  "I... I understand, Dean."

  I let out a huge sigh.

And I take a little too much,

without giving back,

If blessed are the meek then I'm cursed

  "I understand what you were thinking... but you are a goddamned moron."

  I looked at her in surprise but didn't argue.

  "You think acting like a jerk or 'stepping back' is gonna make me hate you? You must be truly, truly oblivious. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. Why couldn't you see that?"

Here, I stand

on the edge of the ledges I've made,

Looking for a steady hand

  She crawls to my end of the bed and places herself on my lap, resting her head on my chest again. Tentatively, I wrap my arms around her and she lets out a long sigh.

  "I love you so much, Dean Winchester," she says softly. "We just gotta work on your communication skills."

Here, I stand

in the land of the rocks in the valley,

Trying to be a better man

For you

  I chuckle lightly at the comment. "Can we start over? That's all I want right now. I just want a second chance."

  "You know we can never truly start over..." she replies.

I want to learn how to love

Not just the feeling

bear all the consequences

  "But we can try," she adds.

And I want to learn how to love,

And give it all back,

And be forgiven for all I've done.

  "I love you," I whisper, holding her close. She tilts her head up to face me and presses a sweet kiss to my lips.

Here, I stand on the edge of the ledges I've made,

Looking for a steady hand,

Here, I stand in the land of the rocks in the valley,

  I will never grow tired of kissing Y/N, and I know I will do everything I can to make her happy from now on.

Trying to be a better man

For you