“Friends”
Sometimes human beings can do horrendous things. Sometimes you describe them as your “friends”. But are they really your “friends” if they watch how you're at the end of your strength? When you're nearly having a breakdown, if they watch you while you're screaming your heart out your soul because you don't know what to do anymore? Are they really your “friends” if they stand next to you when you're on your knees not having the strength of standing up again and all they do is instead of helping you to keep going is laughing at you and your weakness? But if they had to go through the exact same horror and pain, they would give up after one day? What would you do if these “friends” were by your side over 9 years, and you’ve never seen this side of them, the side that shows that they never really cared for how you feel? What would you do if someone says that they’re going to be like a “second family” for you but don’t react if you walk around the house of your “second family” with scars on your legs, that just have been made a few hours ago and you can still see that they’re fresh? Such things make you feel worthless! If you can cry yourself to sleep every night and your “second family” act like they didn’t hear you screaming and whimpering. What would you do if you haven’t had a real meal for over two weeks but even though they should care, they don’t? Such actions of other human beings are destroying for the ones which try to keep themselves alive. Actions like these are the reason for some people to end their pain. And because you don’t know any more what to do, you ask one of your long term “friends” for an advice, but all they’re saying is for you to finally shut up and that they’re not interested in your pain and sorrow, but all you wanted is for them to say to you that they believe in you. You just wanted to hear fuck*ng 3 to 4 words, it would have been enough. You didn’t wanted them to do any more for you. Just an “I believe in you” or an “I’m proud”! That’s all you’ve wanted! All! Why is that too much to ask for? Because honestly even if you don’t really care, if you were in my position you’d want the same, just a simple sentence! To feel a slight feeling of being loved by someone that’s not from your family, the feeling of being love from someone that has grown up with you, that has gone to school with you. But still after you’ve known me for over 9 years, you don’t care! You know me and my stories, you’re one out of a small group of people that know me for and my action, for the true way I smile and not just my fake one, you know how to make me laugh or feel special, you’ve learnt to love all my habits, but all you’ve done for these 9 years was just fake, you played an act! And I need to say you’ve played it really well! But how would you feel if I would have done this sh*t to you? Let me guess, that you wouldn’t like it either. Why should you? You’ve trusted someone for such a long time only to find out that as soon as you leave the country, you’re out of their mind and forgotten? That you weren’t important for them? That they’ve just minded you as long as they needed to? That as soon as you’re having a really hard time, they don’t want to know you anymore? Just because they’ve only wanted you in your good times and good moods and not in your bad and sad times! Scr*w yourself to hell!! All the people that think they’re still my friends after doing something like this to me while I needed them the most? Scr*w yourself and go and find someone else you can play with! I had enough of being tossed around only for “friends” to play their little games. I’m a human being and I have every right of being threatened well. Threat people the way you want to be threatened yourself or you want to be your child to be threatened. What is wrong with you? Why do you need to break people?
