Supernatural Preferences

You're Self-Conscious - Dean

A/N: Hey guys!  I totally meant this to be shorter than it is, so I could do the part one (with Dean, Sam, Bobby, Cas, and Gabriel) and part two (with Lucifer, Crowley, Balthazar, Adam, and Chuck).  However, it turned out longer than I was anticipating.  So I will probably do individual parts for this.  Please vote or comment if you like it!

You were sitting on the couch watching a movie with Dean. Dean had picked the movie, so he picked an action movie. There was a female lead that was kicking ass and taking names. She was gorgeous, smart, funny, very fit...and she had caught Dean's attention. You hadn't ever struggled with your confidence and body image but seeing Dean so into some random chick in a movie had you second guessing everything he saw in you. After a few more minutes, you couldn't take it anymore and got up. You walked to the bathroom, shut and locked the door. Part of you hoped Dean would follow you...but part of you didn't want him to.

You took your shirt off and started examining the scars and marks on your torso. You had plenty of stab wounds, slash marks, and gunshot wounds. Something the character in the movie didn't have. Next, you examined your figure. You had a nicely shaped figure, nothing you would complain about. But after seeing the woman in the movie, you weren't sure anymore. You loved your body although you knew that you weren't the skinniest. You didn't care about it....until now. Lastly, you examined your face. Your eyes no longer had that look of wonder in them. Now they just looked hard and cold, from seeing too many deaths, too much gore. You had bags under your eyes from not getting enough sleep because of the nightmares. Your mouth was set into a thin, grim line of determination to finish the job, to save people's lives. Your hair, once gorgeous and silky was now damaged from being tied tightly back from your eyes. Your eyes filled up and you turned away from the mirror.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. When you didn't answer, Dean's deep voice asked quietly, "(Y/N), are you okay in there? You've been gone a while."

The tears threatened to spill down your face. You tried to answer smoothly, like nothing was wrong, but your voice broke. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

You took a minute to compose yourself before opening the door and walking out... to run right into a very solid chest. You took a step back to look up at Dean, who stood just outside the bathroom door. One look at your face told him something was wrong. He pulled you tightly to his chest, wrapped his arms around you, and rested his chin on top of your head. He quietly asked, "What's wrong, pumpkin?"

You shook your head and whispered, "I said I was fine." You then pushed away from the comfort of his chest...hard. You didn't want to be comforted right now. Dean, shock evident on his face, let you go easily. You turned and walked away from him, towards the kitchen in the bunker. You started making your favorite food. You realized you needed something on the top shelf and just as you went to reach for it, a hand grabbed what you needed and put it on the counter for you. When you turned to see who it was, Dean had backed away and was leaning against the counter several feet from where you were standing.

You could hear the movie still playing from the living room. You focused on making (your favorite food) and said, "You're missing the movie, Dean," without emotion and without looking at Dean.

Dean shrugged. "So?"

You kept working. "So wouldn't you rather watch some hot chick kick ass than watch me make (favorite food)?"

Dean snorted. "So that's what this is about."

You risked a glance at him to see him shaking his head. "Oh? And what would that be?"

You heard Dean move closer to you. "The movie chick got to you."

It was your turn to snort. You started mixing the ingredients forcefully. "And why wouldn't she Dean? You were all over her. And that's understandable. I can see why you would be. She's smart, funny, gorgeous, badass, fit. Shall I go on?"

Dean suddenly came up behind you, took the fork (or mixer, whichever you prefer to use) from your hands gently, set it on the counter, and turned you to face him. "Yes, she is all of those things."

This time, you couldn't stop the tears. To find out Dean thought the same things you did was heartbreaking. You looked at the floor, hoping to hide your face and tears from Dean. But Dean saw them and put a finger under your chin and lifted your head up until your eyes met his.

Dean's eyes moved all over your face, seeing every scar, every imperfection. "She is all those things," your sob interrupted him and his eyes started to fill up but he kept going, knowing you needed to hear what he was going to say, "But you are so much more. She doesn't hold a candle to you, baby, I need you to see that. I really wish you could see what I see."

Your tears were still flowing but you felt calm enough to ask, "And what do you see?"

Dean smiled a little. His hands moved down to your waist. "I see a woman with fire in her eyes and steel in her spine who kicks ass when she needs to. I see a woman with a heart too big and kind for this cruel world, who just wants to help everyone, save everyone. I see a woman with an old soul, one who likes country roads, taking walks in the woods, content with taking her time. You are the light, my light, in this bleak existence. You can handle anything life has thrown at you, and you have...alone. But you don't have to, I don't want you to. I want to protect you from everything in it, to keep you from becoming as cold as me."

You smiled at that. "I'm hardly innocent Dean."

Dean laughed. "Don't I know it? I haven't even gotten to the best part."

You raised your eyebrows at him. "Oh?"

Dean nodded and gently brushed your tears away with his thumbs. The tears had finally stopped. "But most importantly, when I look at you...I see the woman I want to marry, the woman I want by my side for all our lives, knowing that you have my back. I see the type of woman I would want our daughter to be, the type of woman I would teach our son to cherish. But most of all, when I look at you, I see the guiding light in my life, the reason I get up every morning, the reason I still fight evil. I want to make the world as safe as I can for you. And if something ever happened to you, I would walk to the ends of the earth to find the thing that hurt you. I would hunt it down and kill it if it was the last thing I ever did."

You were utterly and completely speechless. So you just wrapped your arms around Dean, kissed him, and hugged him tight. He hugged you back just as tight, resting his chin on your head again. You pulled away after a few moments to put what you had made into the oven to cook, wondering how you had gotten so lucky to have someone like Dean in your life. Then he took your hand and lead you back to the living room. He turned off the movie the two of you had been watching before and put in your favorite movie. The two of you cuddled under a blanket on the couch as the opening credits began to play. You were content, knowing that Dean would always look after you and that you meant the world to him.