I Don't Date Stupid ✓

29: "I Need You."

**trigger warning**

I don't want to spoil the chapter by detailing what happens as it's a major plot point but if you have any serious triggers and would like to know then please feel free to pm me and I will answer any questions xxx I love all of you coffee lovers and everything will be okay I promise <3<3<3

I'm doing it. I'm really doing it. With Jack. Today, tonight, now.

I didn't think this would come this soon, and I didn't think I'd be the one to initiate.

Obviously, I've thought about it. Just fleeting thoughts here and there about whether or not I could do it. I don't want to abstain Jack just because I have some baggage I don't want to deal with.

But it's not that.

I'm not doing this for Jack, I'm doing this for me. I want this. I do.

I know that I'm not trying to convince myself anymore. I care for him so much and he makes me feel so cared for. I would be lying if I said I didn't think I was falling for him.

I've never loved before. Not properly at least.

Sam Hamilton, my first boyfriend, told me he loved me to get me into bed and I said it back because I thought that's what you had to do.

Joe told me he loved me too, but his actions never backed his words. I thought that I could love him back. I think I even did love parts of him. But I could never love him, all of him, that is. You would understand if I told you everything, however, I'm not going to delve into that now.

Jack. He hasn't told me he loves me and I don't expect him to but it's actions that show me he's everything I would want a boyfriend to be. Affectionate, caring... loving? I'm not sure yet.

The hands that explore my body make me feel loved regardless. They're rough enough to convey longing and want but gentle enough to show me that I'm not an object or a conquest. To show me that I mean something to him.

His touch is electric, his words hypnotic. I'm ready.

"Jack," I breathe out. He hums in response, his face in my neck. "Let's go to my room."

He steps back from me for a second, letting me gaze over his appearance from my seat on the counter. "Are you sure, Kat?"

"Yeah," I tell him honestly, jumping down on the kitchen floor and taking him by the hand to my bedroom.

He follows after me eagerly, his hands never leaving my body. As soon as we enter Jack spins me and pushes me against my bedroom door, kissing me hard, my slender fingers tangling in his thick hair.

As Jack lowers his lips to my collarbone I breathe out hard with pleasure before making a confession. "I... I-uh haven't done this in a while." Jack keeps going, not even slowing down. I wonder whether he heard me or not. I bite my lip and my eyes flutter closed as he sucks on my skin.

"You already know I haven't got any since you came back, Juliet." He breaks contact to guide me towards my bed. "But I remember what I'm doing." We kiss again, sweetly this time, his hands latching onto my face.

Suddenly Jack breaks away and slowly lowers me onto the bed. Soon after he crawls towards me and hovers over me, connecting us once more.

His huge frame traps me beneath him, I don't have an escape.

The flash of memory leaves my vision as soon as it enters, I barely register it. Instead, I focus on Jack and the things his touch is doing to me.

His large hands press into my skin harshly, scratching me, bruising me, hurting me.