Confessions about people in my former past life

Past love life part 1- C.T

I never thought I'd be writing about you again or even talk about you. I just wanted to put this in the book because it's become a big part of my life that changed me.

I met you in my freshman year of high school, which was your junior year. We started dating and I became infatuated with you. You actually became the first guy I ever thought about marrying and it turns out, you never had sex and I was the one you lost your virginity to.

That was the only time we ever had sex and since then I wanted it with you yet you never went that far again with me. 3 months past since we first met that we had sex and 3 months later went by, changing our relationship. We became a robotic routine. A couple that did the same shit everyday and you were the first to see that. Then again you are 3 years older than me and I was 15 when we dated.

A whole year and 3 months went by, the day after valentines day we broke up. You said it was for many different reasons and instead avoiding the truth. Truth was, we became boring. We together became this thing that was never satisfied and never explored. I was a kid who still had a lot of figuring out to do and you saw that. I was mad and hurt for a very long time because you couldn't tell me that.

You couldn't have said it to me and instead left me wondering why I wasn't good enough for you, what I needed to change about myself for someone to not get tired of me. For the first time, my heart was actually broken. They say you don't fall in love at such ages but if your heart sank the way mine did, you would understand what this feeling even was. For a very long time I never got it until I realized a lot of things about myself.

So this isn't a story of how much you hurt me or how much I hurt you. This was more of a thank you for the honor and that I don't take what we had for granted. It made me realize how fragile I really was and that I needed to grow up, I needed to be more careful. And that I needed to fix myself. However, after we broke up, I admit, I did things I'm not proud of. I was a hoe. I fucked anyone I could, dated whoever I wanted and cheated when I wanted.

That person I'm glad you never got to see because if you did, I don't think I would have experienced my first heartbreak.

Sincerely your ex girlfriend,
Kat