fourteen seconds to failure.

four.

i do not fear not finding love
i fear what comes after it

when we fall in love
a young, fickle thing
he may not notice my health
and it's lacking
worsening as time wears on

if he did, would he care?

what happens one day
when i'm weak and tired
and can't rely on my own legs
instead using a chair with tires
as i already do
at the age of nineteen

would he push me?

if i can't go on trips with our friends
like we should
and have to stay in bed
because of pain
crippled in our dark room

would he understand?

when he realizes that i'm a burden
will he cast me aside
not wanting a wounded women
hurting his pride

would he leave me?

i think these thoughts
a habit of the dark
and wonder if i'm better off without anyone
if i'm better off alone