Path | Dramione

f o u r t y s e v e n

-Hermione Granger-

"I've told you so many times angle, it isn't your fault"

"But it is! I wasn't strong enough so our babies died" I finally let myself cry. I haven't been letting myself cry but now I am.

I got attached to these babies so fast, which is understandable I guess because they were literally attached to me so I can't help but feel responsible for not being a better, stronger mom.

"It's my fault Draco. I couldn't be a good mom. I tried but I couldn't..."

"Hey, Stop, Listen." He cups my face and makes me stare into his eyes. "It is not your fault. Not. Your. Fault."

I continue to cry quietly, tears just falling down my cheeks. Draco wipes them off every time they fall in the small time period before helping me into the car.

I'm still sore from the accident, which is expected especially since it was so bad. When we checked out the told me that me and Silas were lucky that we are still alive.

I mean yes, I'm happy I'm alive but I just wish my babies were also alive.

"Draco I'm always going to feel guilty for the miscarriage, telling me it's not my fault isn't going to make it better" I tell him softly as I look up at him wearily.

"You just need to know it's not your fault"

I sniff and buckle up I take a deep breath before Draco drives out of the parking garage and makes his way home.

I can feel my heart beating faster then it should. I'm afraid it will happen again. I know that Draco won't let it happen but I can't help but feel afraid.

It isn't long until we make it to Dracos house and we head inside.

Instantly I go upstairs and to the bedroom, I just want to sleep, that's all I want to do.

-five days later-

"Common, you have to do your homework if you want to get this degree" Draco pushes my laptop in front of me and opens it up. "If not for you, do it for me"

I brush my messy hair out of the way and rub my eyes.

"I couldnt care less right now" I say and shut my laptop before pushing it away again.

"I get it baby, it's hard. I know, I feel it too but just because we lost them doesn't mean our lives are over." Draco stands up and pulls me out of bed.

I groan and let him lead me into the bathroom.

"I'm not saying you have to get over their deaths but I'm saying that you can't let it ruin your life. I'm getting you cleaned up, your going to do your homework and then we are going out"

I bite my lip and Draco starts to run the bath. I start to get undressed but stop when I'm left in my undergarments. I turn to the side while looking the mirror.

My stomach has gone down just a bit because there are no babies in there to be housed anymore. I'm empty, literally and emotionally.

I haven't eaten in the past two days, I refuse to even when Draco gets upset. Everyday seems to be worse. Everyday my heart seems emptier and lonelier even though everyday I get messages and presents with 'at least they're in a better place' 'at least they're with god' 'at least...' 'at least...'

Everyone is trying to convince me that there is a bright side to this when there really isn't. My babies died. Not one. Not two. But three. Three babies died because I couldn't be strong enough for them and because the hatred in this world was too much for us four to handle.

"Babe" Draco wraps his arms around me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "It's ok" he whisper and kisses my cheek. I shake my head and try to move out of his grip but he only tightens it.

"Can I be alone...?" I ask in a voice that is barely audible.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I just want to be alone. Plus you can't miss another meeting Draco" I say.

For the past three days there have been back to back meeting but Draco doesn't go to them because he wants to stay with me.

"They understand why I'm missing them, it's fine."

"You need to know whats going on, Draco. Please just leave me alone." I half snap and take a deep breath. "Please" I say softly.

I feel a warm kiss placed in the center of my forehead before the arms around me disappear.

"I'll be back by 5, I love you"

I stay quiet and close my eyes for a second before finishing striping and getting into the warm purple water with sparkles and pink flower peddles.

There are two chocolate bars on the corner of the tub and two candles that smell like coconut lit across from the candy.

I let out a shaky breath and wipe the tear that fell down my cheek without permission.

"Please god, let this be a dream"