My new Family - Adopted By Yogscast Fanfiction!

Shall We Go Home?

"Sister... Shall we go home?"

... No.

Not right now.

I could just barely hear two distorted voices over me. One voice belonged to a man I admired through the computer screen, someone I saw as a brotherly figure.

The other voice was the voice of a boy I once knew.

Now, if it was any other day, any other day that I hadn't met the Yogscast, I would've said yes and left with him. But that distorted voice was giving me a choice... And it wasn't for nothing. I glanced up just barely as my body went numb from the pain, knowing that I need to remain here.

"Hey Kyo... You can't go now... Not now..." I heard him say, voice so distraught and fearful. His voice echoed throughout my mind, the sound of an ambulance drowning out the rest of the words.

Please...

I'm only twenty...

So there I was, lying there unconcious, an oxygen mask being my only source of air. Life support on, a heart monitor beeping. I could hear the echoing voices of my family, but a boy whose face was like mine stood the closest, arms open, waiting. How can I die now? There's so much waiting for me. My work, my friends, my family. KEYCrew, Haru who's still waiting for me to answer his nightly Skype calls. Loke who wrote so many songs in prayer for my return. All those people I left behind in Singapore, I could not possibly leave behind forever.

And yet, I could not move. Because to the doctors, nurses, to the Yogscast and the world, I was in a coma.

Even Tyler who sat at the edge of my bed, was praying for my recovery.

I heard the voices of my friends, and one that came loud and clear.

"Kyo... Please wake up..."

Joakim Hellstrand. Ah, yes. The one who saved me. Why do I always end up needing someone to save me? Was I weak, I asked. As I slipped back into darkness, voices fading away, my answer was still clear.

"No. I'm not."

"Tyler, I can't go home yet."

"Not now."

○●○●○●○

She's been out of it for days. Lewis is getting restless, he couldn't handle it when he realised that she got a heart attack, much less when she fell into a coma because her body couldn't handle it. Kim, Duncan and I have been more or less camping out in the hospital, just... Waiting for her to wake up. Kim's been reading out something she got in the mail to us, just to keep our spirits up. A notebook of compliments that even Kyoko had a couple of messages in. In Chinese. Very funny Kyo, you know you're the only one who is decently versed in Mandarin...

Wake up Kyo... Please.

"She'd wake up. Chin up Joakim." Duncan tried, even though he looked more distressed than ever. I took a glance at the heart monitor, unstable as always, Kyoko's life strung between two thin ropes. One was us. And I knew, the other was that boy I saw. Her brother.

"But... What if she chooses Tyler?" Kim said, as the air went still. We listened to the beeping noises of life some more, before Duncan unexpectedly stood up, and shouted.

"She wouldn't! Because of us! Because she just can't..." He was in a frenzy, and the air went still again, as he continued in a calmer demeanour.

"Let's... Just wait... Let's keep waiting."

He shook a little, then he sat down. As we watched the rise and fall of the monitor, listening to it as it beeped, the three of us sat in shocked silence, as the hours began to fly by without mercy.

♤Duncan♤

You know...

It's funny how time could seem to be kind, and heal whatever hurt in the past. But then turn out to be so cruel. I think I saw it coming, ever since she got herself a six-month-long hospital stay. Hell, I think I even knew that this was gonna get worse. I don't know how I knew. I just did. I knew someone who had the same thing she did. He died of a heart attack not too long after. It was a crazy thought, but I almost thought we lost her there, when I arrived at the hospital. She was just lying there, not even moving. You can tell she's alive, you can see that she's breathing. But something inside you just thinks : "Am I watching life slip away from me?"

It was fear that prevented me from speaking. Could I have known what happened, when I picked up my phone to hear Joakim shouting into it in a frenzy, saying "She's in the hospital again and it's bad!"

I was going mad. "What do you mean?" I asked. "She was just here a moment ago!" I exclaimed. He then very briefly explained that she suffered an attack, and he didn't really have time to think before he picked her up and ran. I don't blame him, really. Joakim's quite protective, and he's fond of her like how a brother would. And so am I.

She's a part of the family now really. She was adopted into it since Yogcon Singapore. We liked her. Kyoko's been our artist, director, collaboration partner and sister for the longest time. And when she ended up in the hospital for the first time I thought back about when I saw my friend in the hospital for the first time, when he was suffering from tachycardia. I almost lost it. We all nearly did.

And now she's back, a heart monitor beeping, a gas mask of air to let her breathe, her life so fragile, and I feared that it would be the last time we saw her.

So I'd wait. We'd keep waiting for her to wake up. And until then it'd be tough for us to carry on.

But it's all we can do.

♤Kim♤

I have never seen Kyo like this before. She just looked so... Distant. It was like she was gone. Not dead, but gone. Whatever that used to exist was misssing. That energy, that drunkness on life, that amount of love and joy she brought into the office, it was gone.

Without her it felt weird to be back at the office. I was so overwhelmed. E3 and everything was getting to me, the hate was getting to me and now, Kyo's in the hospital. Everything was just getting to me.

And then suddenly, a notebook appeared in the mail for me. I read it through and I was so happy for a while. For a while I thought everything was going to be okay, but then I saw her lying there again... And I could barely handle that sort of stress.

Then I found the translation for Kyo's Chinese quote. 心胸放大了,事情就缩小了。心胸缩小了,事情就放大了。。。

If you open your heart, the problems seem to have been trival. If you shut off your heart, the problems seem to have amplified.

She was right. If I accept that she was there in that position, that she could either live or die, everything would seem easier to manage. Every issue that seem bigger than it is wasn't as important as it was. If I could only accept it...

I was staring at the girl in the hospital, realising how small and frail she looked. It occurred to me how short life could be, how much she had suffered.

And then I realised she had sacrificed a whole lot to be with us... For us. We were more than friends to her, to her we family. We were the family she always wanted but could never have, we were her brothers and sisters, but we could never replace the boy that followed her everywhere, the boy who loved her and haunted her every day. I saw her drinking soda one day, and randomly asked why. She laughed and said "This eas Tyler's favourite." I didn't think much of it at the time. But when I thought about it as I watched her, I realised that she never forgot about him even after years flew by. The years flew by and she was still living in his shadow, and missed him more with every day that went by.

I wonder if she talking to Tyler now. Maybe making a decision.

But...

What if she chose Tyler?