Just Life

I Wish I Had Told You

I wish I had told you

I wish I wasn't so quiet,

So hidden,

So trapped behind the wall I built up.

It's easier to be different

You know, not who you really are

It's easier that way

because it's just....easier

No one knows the real you

You can start afresh, be free

You can say all the things you've ever wanted to

Do whatever without a second thought

No stuttering,

mumbling,

nail bitting,

hair chewing.

It'll just be easier to not be me...

I wish I had told you

because I'm not who you think I am

I'm not sweet,

I'm not her...

I'm not caring,

forgiving,

gentle,

and there's nothing beautiful about me.

You don't know what I've seen,

You don't know what I've done.

I've seen death first hand

I have.

He pulled the trigger

I held the gun

I pulled my trigger

And he was gone.

He murdered them,

my family,

he took their lives

and I took his.

I wish I had told you

That I wasn't who you thought I was,

That I'm a murderer

And you should have never fallen in love with me.