Two Girls, One Heart.

The Show

"Y/N, what is it?" Ashley stares deeply into my eyes. Making me more and more nervous. How do I tell her? I know I need to admit this now or never.
"Ashley...I..I just...fuck," I can't even get a full sentence out. Ashley probably can't tell since we are FaceTiming but I'm shaking like crazy. Although her eyes painted a worrisome look on her face.
"Y/N, please tell me what's bothering you. I'm really nervous now. And honestly have been for a while. And being on tour is so hard you kno-" Ashley didn't get to finish her sentence as she was interrupted by her tour manager.
"Hey Ash, we gotta get going with these interviews like now."
"Okay okay. Give me two seconds," ash directs her attention back on me. "I love you. Fly out to my show in Miami. I wanna talk. I...I wanna love you and I want you to love me. I want us to be okay."
I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I know as soon as I fly down to see her I'm gonna lose it and not be able to tell her the truth yet again. All I could reply is: "I'll start packing baby girl. I love you." And with that I hung up. How am I stuck in this never ending hell. Even though I dowsed the place in gasoline and set the place on fire myself. I couldn't help to think of Lauren right now. And how I fucked things up with her. And it doesn't even matter if we never get back together at this point because we've been through too much. At some point this will get to Ashley.
"Fuck." I said out loud. This is gonna get to Ashley. I didn't wanna destroy my apartment anymore than I already did. I called Rickey just to vent. It rang three times before he picked up.
  "What now?" Rickey says in a tired voice.
  "Ashley is gonna find out eventually." I blurt out.
  "Yeah no shit honey."
  "I don't know what to do. Lauren left me....for the time being."
  "Okay...that's a good thing." Rickey sounds somewhat annoyed now.
  "No it's not. Her and Ashley talk. This will come out at some point."
  "So you have to tell her first."
  "But I-" Rickey cut me off.
  "BUT NOTHING Y/L/N. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU ACTIONS HOMEGIRL. I'm done for now. Love you, bye."
And with that Rickey hung up and I was alone again. But he was right. If I had even the slightest chance of fixing this. I had to come clean before the dirt was dumped all over my shallow grave. As if on cue Ashley sent me a flight confirmation for her show In Miami. And immediately I got up and started packing.

                            3 Days Later
  My flight had just landed. I texted Ashley saying I would be at her venue in about an hour. She said Payton was in her dressing room and she would let me in. Everything was a blur these last few days. I have been so distraught I couldn't even think...at all. About anything. I got an uber and made my way to the venue. Everything seemed to happen so fast. Before I knew it I was knocking on Ashley's dressing room. Before I knew it Payton and I were standing face to face. I didn't have time to wait for her shady welcome. I walked straight in bumping into Payton's shoulder and going straight to the couch.
  "Y/N, what the hell? You can't even say hello?"
  I didn't respond. I sat on the edge of the couch with my hands resting in my lap. Every word she let out went in out ear and out the other. My thoughts were slowly coming back to me as I realized what I was about to do. Payton was still running her mouth and nothing was coming into my senses. Until she said one thing...that threw me off completely.
  "Whatever ignore me then. Lauren is preforming with Ash tonight and I have to wait here to let her in, then I'm going to watch the show."
  "WHAT?" Is shouted, making Payton jump a bit from my voice.
  "What the fuck Y/N! What's up with you??"
  "What..did..you say?" I ask sternly.
  "I said I'm going to watch the show!"
  "BEFORE THAT!"
  "WHY ARE YOU YELLING??" She screams back at me. I don't even care is security hears at this point. I'm just realizing my life is over.
  "WHO IS HERE PREFORMING WITH ASHLEY?"
  "LAUREN!"
  "WHY?" My voice reaches a whole new volume.
  "Um I don't fucking know? Maybe because she's on the fucking album." Payton replies in a sassy manor.
  I feel everything go numb. I'm so screwed at this point. I slide slowly down the edge of the couch and start breathing heavily. I can't take this. My worst nightmare, is coming into my fairytale life.
  "Y/N...what the fuck is up." Payton gets to my level and looks at me intently. I began to smell alcohol on her breath. It didn't surprise me she was already drunk. She speaks up again, this time raising her voice more. "Y/N I know something is going on, start explaining."
I look her in the eye intensely. I couldn't stand her at this point. If anyone was going to expose me for who I am, it's going to be me. But now I have to come up with yet another lie, knowing Payton wasn't gonna let anything slide this time. But yet...I didn't have anything to say. I had lied my way to this point but can't seem to lie my way out. All these built up emotions just spilled from my lips.
"You know what Payton. How about you get the fuck out of my relationship. And DON'T fucking interrupt me. You want Ashley to be happy? You want her to feel like she can breath again? But yet here you still are mooching off of her...off of US. Why don't you go and get a real fucking job and MOVE THE FUCK OUT. Then MAYBE we wouldn't have so many problems. MAYBE we could work things out alone instead of you always trying to get in our BUSINESS. Yes, you're her "best friend," you care about her. But did you ever stop to think how much she truly gives to you? And all you can give back is your "support". Not paying for fucking rent. Not helping out around the house. Just always making me out to be the bad guy. Get the FUCK OUT OF MY FACE." And with that I leap up from the ground and go outside the dressing room. Leaving Payton in complete shock and possibly tears? That was probably the first time she let me finish talking completely. And even though it was somewhat hypocritical, it felt good.
I blindly walk down the hallway near the stage thinking of everything replaying in my mind. I had completely forgotten about what Payton and I had discussed prior to me blowing up. And like a tsunami, something hit me all at once.
"Y/N?" Lauren spoke out quietly. I very slowly turned around on my heels.
"Lauren..." I had no movement in my body whatsoever. We just gazed at each other. All of the sudden Lauren comes running and leaps into my arms. My body's natural response is to hold her close. Even though Ashley could be right behind me, I had nowhere to run.
"You came...for me?" Lauren asked staring deep into my eyes. I hated how I always ended up back here, having to lie and lie and lie.
"I...I"
"Y/N you don't have to say anything, okay? I overreacted and I truly do love you so much. I don't know how you caught me so quickly but you did, and you've trapped me. And, I can't get enough of it." Lauren replies pressing her forehead against mine.
"Lauren? You're on soon and we still need to do your makeup." A stage manager said, peeping around the corner.
"I'll see you after the show." Lauren says kissing me deeply. I felt my emotions stir up even more than before. Her lips nearly killed me.
My heart almost jumps out of my chest as my phone goes off. Ashley's contact name appears on my screen. I feel sick, like I could throw up everywhere. Did I blow my cover already? I'm actually too scared to even answer. I keep walking down the hallway at a faster pace, when I get a text.