Beautiful Tragedy

Part 53

Kit knew it was only a matter of time before his disability got the best of him but he wished, he wished badly for it to go away. He hoped he would be okay and that he'll get to be with Ming forever but the moment his doctor informed his about his complete failure of legs everything crumbled inside of him and he knew it that moment he had to let go of Ming now.

Ming has given Kit everything, the boy loved him unconditionally and helped Kit, he showed him how his life was worth living even after that terrible accident, he made him fall in love and gave him hope that he'll be okay, the least he wanted to do was burden him. He knew Ming loved him and he thinks Kit isn't a burden but things weren't same now. With him losing his legs he was completely dependent on him for every single thing. It was only a matter of time before Ming would be fed up from him and even if he won't Kit won't take his life like this. Just because he lost his life doesn't mean Ming has too.

Kit knew it will hurt like hell, he knew it would be almost impossible for Ming but he also knew he'll be able to move on with help of his family. Ming was the strongest person he knew and he hoped his decision won't affect him that much.

He loved him so much, too much it actually hurts and it also felt surreal. Ming has stolen his heart in the most beautiful way possible and it ached without his presence. It was like stabbing himself but Kit was willing to do that if it means Ming would be happy in future. He sighed and looked at his father who was making him do even more harder exercises and sometime he would wince in pain and sometimes he would feel nothing at all. His Father hugged him tighter and assured Kit that he'll do everything in his power to help him and he simply nodded.

"Dad?" Kit asked and he hummed encouraging Kit to continue.

"Is it possible that I'll come and live with you?" Kit asked, his father's movements stopped and he looked at Kit frowning. He straightened his legs and sat with Kit.

"Of course Kit you are my son, I'll be glad." he said and Kit sighed with relief. "But why do you want to?" he closed his eyes not wanting to explain to his dad. He didn't know what to tell actually. "Did something happen between you and Ming?" Kit exhaled deeply and looked at his dad seeing his concern expressions.

"I just need some time away from here." kit answered, honestly it was the only best answer he could think of. His father looked at him bewildered and cautious but he nodded and refrained from further questions. "If that's what you want then I'll be glad. I'm here for you son." he patted his back and Kit smiled.

"Thank you." he whispered. His father sighed and passed him a smile before resuming his work. Meanwhile Kit's mind went blank. He felt nothing but the pressure of time, of life on his shoulders and he didn't know how he was going to explain this to Ming, to his family. He closed his eyes and sigh his tears aching to fall but he urged them away. He won't cry.

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Telling them about his decision was the worst thing Kit has ever done, it was a lot harder than he had imagined. He had memorized his lines in his head thousands of time but the moment he gathered everyone in his room and they looked at him confused everything drifted off his mind and he felt himself almost regretting the idea of informing them but he knew they deserve to know after all the love and concern they had showed to Kit. The moment he saw Ming's face his heart skipped a beat and his words got lost in his mind. Ming smiled a little and it broke Kit's heart that he was going to do something that'll hurt this precious human being but he also knew it was for the best.

"I umm.." he cleared his throat and closed his eyes. He needed to be strong, he have to do this.

"Come on Kit, don't be a coward and day it." he thought and tried to assemble his words but cursed when they didn't make any sense.

"Kit honey what is it?" he heard Ming's mum asking him and he sighed and opened his eyes looking at her concern expressions. He looked at Ming and could see the fear in those eyes which made him gulp but he shook his head and pulled himself high.

"I--- I Have decided to go with my dad." he finally stated and sighed. He looked at all of their faces and gulped at their confused and conflicted expressions. He could hear his heavy beating heart in the tense environment. He looked at Ming and saw his mouth hanging low before he slowly closed it blinking rapidly. Kit could see trembling of his hands and he almost broke down but didn't.

"What? Why?" Ming's mum asked and he diverted his attention back to her. "Did we do something wrong?"

"No!" he immediately said. "You have done so much for me and I can never thank you enough it's just, I need some time with my dad." he whispered and she sighed deeply.

"It's something I can't control Kit." she rested his hand over his. "I want you to know that we love you so much, you are a son to us and if you think you are troubling us then you are wrong. You are always welcome here but if you want to go with your dad than I can't stop you." she brushed his hairs and he smiled sadly.

"Thank you so much." he said and she kissed his forehead. He looked at Ming whose eyes were filled with tears and he looked away blinking his own. The others slowly left them alone and he heard Ming's deep sigh.

"Why are you going Kit?" Ming asked his voice thick with tears and Kit looked at him.

"I need some time Mingkwan." Kit said and he scoffed sitting with him.

"Take your time, but don't leave." Ming pleaded his tears falling and Kit wiped them, Ming closed his eyes for a brief second.

"I can't think here." Kit whispered. "I need to be away for a while"

"It's because of me isn't it?" Ming asked and Kit looked away. "You want to be away from me" his heart broke into million pieces and he looked at the pain in Ming's eyes before he held them firmly in his own. "Ming don't you think like that, yes I do need time but not because I don't want to be with you, I do badly." Kit brought his hands closer. "But fate doesn't want us to, I need time to think what is right and what is not, I need time to figure out everything. I need time to accept the reality." Kit whispered. Ming opened his mouth to reply but Kit shushed him placing his finger on his lips. "I want to be with you so badly, I want you Mingkwan. My heart aches without you, I crave you. Everything is incomplete and meaningless without you but Ming you don't deserve me. You don't get the severity of it. I can't let you give your life because of me." Kit's voice broke and Ming's shoulder sank as both of their tears fell.

"You know how hard this is for me to know that the only person I love has to babysit me for rest of my life that he has to carry me? That he has to do my duties? Ming I want to give you happiness and love, I want you to feel free but like this I'll only bind you." Kit traced his palm. "You'll have to carry me, you'll have to be there with me every second of the day, you'll have to help me stand and sit, you'll have to dress me, you'll have to do much more than you do now and that's not what I wanted for us." Kit whispered.

"I am ready to do anything for you Kit, I'll be there with you, I'll carry you through everything, I'll do it all if it means you'll be with me." Ming urged and Kit closed his eyes letting his tears fall. Both of their hearts ache to be with each other and Ming prayed that Kit would stop being so selfless and let Ming take care of him but Kit had already made up his mind.

"I'm sorry Ming." Kit whispered and Ming's shoulder dropped. "I need time." he stared at Kit who wasn't looking at him, through his tears he could see Kit's too and all he wanted to do was beg him to stay but he knew nothing could change his mind now. He exhaled deeply as his hands tremble; he stood up on his shaky legs and looked at Kit who still wasn't looking at him. He closed his eyes and with a one glance towards his lover he left the room stumbling towards his letting his tears fall. If he heard kit's muffled sob behind him he didn't know.