Beautiful Tragedy

Part 52

Kit groaned and woke up with a slight headache but nothing too bad for him to handle. He pulled his blanket away and straightened his upper body his legs sliding with them. He tried to sit but failed miserably. It was like his lower body was completely detached from him and he couldn't control the quiver of his lips. He stared down at his legs and let his tears fall.

He thought if he could be brave, if he could avoid this all and pretend nothing happened everything would be much easier but now as he looked at them and realized that there was nothing at all he could do for himself he couldn't stop the shaking of his hands or the quivering of his lips, he couldn't stop the rapid flow of his tears and pants of his breaths. He placed his hand on a mouth to muffle his sob as he keep staring at his legs praying for them to move.

He wiped his tears but they didn't flow, another row of them joined their companions and he closed his eyes tightly wanting nothing more to just die then and there. He didn't want life if it means he would be like this, if he won't be able to do anything at all. He tried to contain his sobs when Ming came inside but he couldn't instead he felt himself crying even more as he ran towards him and hugged him in his protective arms. Kit wanted to stay there in his arms with nothing but his soothing scent, he wanted to escape from reality and bury himself in his arms.

Without breaking the hug Ming helped Kit sit up properly before he adjusted his legs so he was comfortable. He let Kit cry in his arms as he tried to comfort him.

"I can't feel my legs Ming..." Kit cried and his pained voice broke Ming's heart into million yet he controlled himself, he can't lose his composure right now. Kit needed him to be strong. "I can't walk Ming..." Kit's body shook in his arms as his sob rang through the room piercing Ming's heart.

"I know love but it'll be okay." Ming said the best he could but Kit pulled back. "Don't say this anymore, don't give me false hope." Kit scoffed and Ming grabbed his face.

"I'm not, I am just giving you to believe in something." he wiped his tears. "Without hope there will be nothing to fight for" he whispered and Kit sobbed again.

"I can't do anything." he mumbled.

"You got me." Ming firmly said and Kit shook his head.

"I can't do anything at all, I can't walk, I can't sit, I can't lay down, I can't shower, I can't change my clothes, I can't go to bloody washroom on my own." Kit screamed, he wanted them to realize how hard it was for him. He knew it was cruel but he wanted the world to feel his agony.

"I know this is hard, but we'll get through this." Ming desperately tried to assure him but he shook his head not caring about his goddamn tears, he was angry at the world, at his mother, at his parents, at himself and at this goddamn disability.

"I can't keep burdening you, not anymore. You have your life to live." Kit sniffled but Ming cupped his face. "I told you before and I will tell you now you are not a burden to me." he wiped his tears.

"Ming I am totally dependent on you for god sake." Kit screamed but Ming shook his head. "You are not and I don't mind taking care of you." Ming leaned down and rested his forehead against Kit who closed his eyes.

"Kit I love you." Ming whispered and Kit gasped opening his tearful eyes. He looked straight at Ming's and his breath hitched. He wished everything was simple, he wished they were all happy normal couples going out in dates and all but they weren't. He was stuck in this goddamn bed and Ming had to babysit him. His head shook subconsciously and he brushed Ming's hand away.

"No." he said and Ming frowned.

"No what no?" Ming asked panic clear in his voice and it broke Kit's heart.

"You can't be in love with me." muttered.

"What? Kit what are you saying?" Ming questioned. Kit closed his eyes for a brief moment before he opened and looked straight at Ming's. "You can't love me Mingkwan, I don't know if we can continue this." Ming's breathe hitched and he shook his head blinking the tears away.

"No" he gasped. "You don't mean it right?" it was a nervous chuckle that left his mouth but he gulped when Kit diverted his eyes. "Kit" he whispered.

"Mingkwan you deserve better, someone who could make you happy, someone who can go out with you and be like a normal couple not someone who is stick to bed and goddamn wheelchairs. You don't deserve to spend your life babysitting someone just because they are too bloody weak to walk." Kit said and Ming gasped not control of his tears anymore.

"You don't get to tell me what I deserve, I love you Kit and we can do this." Ming pleaded holding his hand but Kit shook his head. "I'm sorry Ming... but I won't let you ruin your life because of me." Kit traced his cheekbone who shook his head frantically.

"Kit listen to me, we always seems to find our ways. We can do this together, don't do this please" Ming begged and he sighed closing his eyes. At this moment both of lovers eyes were filled with tears and his heart breaking yet they wanted best for other. At this moment they knew they were truly in love with each other.

"I need some time to think." Kit finally whispered and Ming's heart broke even more.

"Kit---"

"Please Mingkwan, it's not an easy decision for me." Kit said and Ming sighed nodding.

"I'll wait for you but just remember I will always be there for you." Ming brushed his hairs staring at him through his tears and Kit nodded shakily. "I love you Kit and I mean it when I said I'll do anything for you." his words held so much love and Kit was almost tempted to take back his decision but he knew it was the right thing to do. He closed his eyes when Ming breathed over his lips and before he could register his lips was on his own. He moaned can kiss back as their lips move in a perfect sync mixed with tears and heartbreak. Kit breathed and pulled apart and Ming squeezed his hands before moving outside his tears falling. It was the moment Kit broke down.