from zero » hyungwonho

viii

To: shitface
oi you mong

From: shitface
what?

To: shitface
wanna hang today? i just bought that game you keep going on about

From: shitface
oh shit, dude
i really would love to but i'm hanging with hyungwon today

Minhyuk stared at that last message for longer than he should have, scowling at his phone before turning it off and tossing it onto his desk chair.

Minhyuk wasn't jealous. He wasn't.

He was.

Tucking his arms behind his head, he lay on his bed staring up at his blue ceiling as thoughts overwhelmed him like a tidal wave. His mind was the ocean and he was the lone pedestrian thrown into the deep end.

Minhyuk didn't hate Hyungwon, he just didn't like him.

He remembered when he first met him after Hoseok had brought him over to their usual lunch table and asked if he could hang out with them for lunch. Minhyuk was apprehensive of him at first, despite not even knowing Hoseok for that long either, but they all let him sit with them respectively.

After that day, it just became a routine, and the others began to warm up to shy, quiet Hyungwon. All apart from Minhyuk.

He saw the way Hoseok's eyes lit up when he was around Hyungwon, or even when the younger boy's name was mentioned, and Minhyuk realised that Hyungwon was special to him in a way that Minhyuk wasn't.

But of course he wouldn't be that kind of special to Hoseok - he was just Hoseok's best friend, nothing more nothing less - but Hoseok was that kind of special to Minhyuk.

It was funny, really. Minhyuk realised his feelings towards his best friend right after he'd been introduced to Hyungwon, and Kihyun was the first and only person to know about those feelings. To this day, he still remained the only person to know, and Minhyuk was adamant on keeping it that way.

For a while, Minhyuk thought his feelings would change or go away with time, but the more he saw Hoseok and Hyungwon together, laughing, talking, dancing, whatever, he would feel a very strong pang of sadness and jealousy in his heart.

He remembered thinking it wasn't fair.

Minhyuk had met Hoseok first so shouldn't he have the rights to him? Then he realised Hoseok wasn't an object, and that first-come-first-serve was never really an option open to Minhyuk when he never came to Hoseok.

Hyungwon did though. And he won the ultimate prize.

Hoseok's heart.

Then the day came when Hyungwon left, and Minhyuk clearly remembers the way Hosoek came crying to his front door, and the hug the two of them shared in the doorway had always been something Minhyuk treasured.

He would never forget how tightly Hoseok grasped onto him, like he was a lifeline and Hoseok was dying. At that moment in time, Hoseok was completely reliant on Minhyuk. He was weak, broken, frail, and Minhyuk was his rock.

Granted, if anyone were to ask Hoseok about these events, he would probably deny they'd ever even happened, but Minhyuk knew they did.

He still felt Hoseok's arms around him when he looked at his best friend, and he cursed himself for thinking he would ever stand a chance with Hoseok after Hyungwon left.

He had sort of come to terms with the fact that Hoseok would never be his, but still clung to the idea of it, wrung it through his mind every night before bed, thinking of how nice it would be to have Hoseok sleeping in his bed next to him instead of sleeping alone.