From BTS's debut onwards.
Each member has an insecurity that makes them feel like they aren't wanted in the group and that they aren't good enough. Whether it maybe talent, looks, weight etc, no one is perfect. They learn to over come those insecur...
They'll love you more if it's gone. They'll accept you more if you're skinny.
That's what I told myself.
Everyday. I told myself I wasn't good enough. That they would only love me if I was slim. That I had to keep the abs to keep you happy.
I ate nothing for 10 whole days. Practically starved myself. No food, torture. Pure torture.
But I told myself it was for the best. That I needed to do it. I needed to loose the weight to be happy, to be loved.
The industry is hard. People constantly telling you that you need to look a certain way. Telling you that you aren't perfect and that you should be. That you need to be better and hurt yourself until you make it.
I listened to them. Listened to them telling me that I'm not good enough. I listened to them all.
But that was back then. I was weak and young. I didn't know what I was doing. All the comments got to me and I didn't know how to take it. So I took it personally, and tried to change myself for you, so I would be perfect for you.
I was in a bad place. Mentally, but mostly physically. I pushed myself too hard. Worked all day, all night. I didn't sleep I worked so hard.
I was so stupid. Working my but off to be the perfect image when I didn't have the energy to stand anymore. I needed to eat but I wouldn't.
I wouldn't accept defeat. I'd keep working until I felt great again. But it didn't come, I didn't feel great.
But when it all got too much he was there for me.
Yoongi hyung.
He saved me. Saved me from the pain I was trapped in. Showed me that I was special and beautiful. I felt perfect when I was with him.
All the other members too. When I was particularly ill they made sure I was ok. I fainted a lot and I lost a lot of weight.
But it was what I wanted wasn't it? Was what you wanted?
But I don't think it was. You care more about my health and safety. That's what you should care about.
You don't care about whether I have abs so I stopped caring too. I look after my body but I'm healthy now. I eating and I feel amazing. I feel unstoppable, like I could do anything I want to.
There's no such this as perfect. No one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws but that's ok. We're human, just like you. Just like you ARMY. But you are the real perfect.
Perfect. That's you. You are unstoppable. No matter how big or small. Together, we are perfect. And together we can do anything.
A/N: *me casually slipping in some Yoonmin cause I can't help it*
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