Our Song

Love Me Do

"Jules it's making me drink, I don't know what to tell him." Art ran his fingers through his ratty curly hair.

"How do you feel about him?" Jules stirred his margarita.

"I mean I do love him, but I don't want to damage our friendship, and I don't know if I love him that much. I mean as a friend I love him from the sun to Pluto, but as a lover, I still have no idea. It makes me drink so that I can block out what I should choose." Art went on a small tangent, gulping his drink.

"Please don't do anything I don't want to lose you to alcohol." Jules wrapped his arm over Art's shoulder.

"I want everything to go back to the way it was; I want to harmonize with him with no strain from me getting a little worked up." Art cried. He ordered another drink; he thought it would take all his problems away. He steadily lit a cigarette that was laying in his hand for a while, his mind wandered off and forgot all about it.

"Maybe it won't go back, but you can work around it." Jules threw out all of the thoughts he could muster up.

"How when it's so awkward?" Art glanced at his brother for any comforting words.

"I don't know, I haven't seen you two together in years," Jules admitted.

"I just want answers Jules, don't you see how much of a mess I am?" Art exaggerated his movements, running his hands up and down his body.

"You put yourself into this mess." Jules flicked the ashes from his disappearing cigarette. "And what answers do you think I have?"

"You're my big brother I thought you had experience with these kinds of things." Art sulked in his chair, disappointed that he couldn't get the straight forward answer he was hoping to receive.

"I've never found a guy that thinks I'm hot." Jules retorted.

Art punched Jules in the shoulder, his face going up a few degrees and shouting, "He never said I was hot!" When a few people around the two scolded Art, he recoiled in embarrassment taking a large drink.

"Let me rephrase that so you don't blow up. I have never had someone of the same sex love me like that." Jules rethought what he was saying.

"I feel so guilty telling him no." Art trailed his pointer finger around his glass.

"Why?" Jules scratched his head, amplifying his confusion.

"I hate to see him so disappointed, he never likes being disappointed. I really want to give him that love, I just can't say yes." Art slammed his head down on the table with a loud clunk.

Art rubbed his head while Jules snapped, "You can't just give up like this, you know he'll understand."

"I'm sorry." Art mumbled.

"Why?" Jules questioned.

"I drug you all the way here just to bitch." Art whimpered.

"Well, it sure seems like you have been going through a lot lately." Jules gave Art a reassuring hug. "And not to mention I am your big brother, I'll always be there for you."

Jules positive words put a smile on Art's face, "You always know what to say to make me feel better." Art wiped the tears that became visible on his barely tanned face.

"Now you need to tell Paul whatever you need to tell him." Jules placed his hand on Art's shoulder. "Also, please stop turning to alcohol to solve your issues, it only makes them worse." Jules put money down on the table to end their tab.

"Hey, let me cover it." Art tried to snatch Jules's money off the table. Jules slapped his hand with his lighting fast reflects.

"No," Jules said roughly.

"Thanks." Art whispered pulling his hand back.

"No problem, please contact me if you need anything." Jules got up from his chair and disappeared in the crowd.

***

Art took a deep breath in finding it difficult to find the words to tell his partner.

"Yes?" Paul asked slightly annoyed.

"I need to tell you something important." Art managed to squeeze out only a few words at a time.

"What is it?" Paul asked, scooting closer.

Art took another deep breath in. He became panicked. Every word his brother said flew out of his mind, leaving him nothing but static.

"Nevermind." Art mumbled, giving up. I can just tell him later. Later won't hurt too bad.

"Anyway, I got us a date to go to the studio." Paul chirped.

"When?" Art was waiting ever so patiently for a new date to go to the studio.

"On June eighth I believe." Paul cheerfully said.

"Great!" Art gave a fake smile.

"Is something wrong?" Paul noticed the fear rise in Art's voice.

"Everything is fine." Art tried to brush of Paul's question.

"From the way your sweating obviously something is up, you know you can tell me anything," Paul noted how Art was fidgeting with his fingers like he was nervous.

"I am fine." Art said sternly.

"I don't believe you." Paul crossed his arms giving him the if-you-don't-tell-me-what's-wrong-right-now-I-will-strangle-you look.

Art was about to burst; he tried to keep his mouth shut. He spilled everything, "I want to love you, but I don't want to ruin our friendship if we don't work. I hate telling you this because I know how disappointed you get."

Paul fell silent. It was his turn to have the words yanked from his mind, he managed to get out a simple question. "So you do love me?"

"Yes god damn it, but I love our friendship a little bit more." Art screamed during the first half of his sentence but quieted down to the volume of a mouse with the second half. "Every day I feel like I want to kiss you, then there is a part of me that says it's wrong."

"Artie, stop beating yourself up about it, please I hate to see you so distressed." Paul tried comforting Art by rubbing his back.

"I don't want to disappoint you." Art sobbed.

"You know what, I've come to terms with it. It's ok if you tell me, no, It sure as hell hurts, but what can I do. I can't force you to love me the way I love you." Paul smiled.

"But I do love you." Art sniffed.

Finally, after pushing back all of his thoughts he pushed his lips into Paul's. Paul's eyes widened in shock, his smile broadened with it. "I love you very much." Art beamed along with Paul.