Our Song

Feed Your Head

Paul wept in the corner of his room. His pen in hand, and scribbled chicken scratch writing. The shadow had engulfed his whole bedroom.

As each day passed the shadow only seemed to grow more powerful. It seemed to take over more portions of his life. It was now taking over the thing he held dear to his heart, his songwriting.

The shadow made him feel guilty about all the things he was writing. No chord led to anything. One word popped in his head, and then a phrase. Next thing he knew the shadow covered his room. He feared the sentence as the shadow continued to grow up the walls, wrapping him in complete darkness. All light was extinguished, not even a small dot of sunlight could show through.

"Please, it..it's just, just a song!" Paul quivered under its gaze, struggling to get his words out.

"Imagine the people you could hurt with a song like that." The shadow picked up the paper.

"It doesn't mean nothing in the long run, it's not like god is going to read it and send me to hell for it!" Paul screeched.

"But your work means so much to the people who hear it, what if you hurt them and they never come back." The shadow crumbled the piece of paper and threw it out the window. The song was lost in the moving cars that sped down the busy street.

"They always come back, I had something going with that song. Who cares if it's a little offensive. The mold has been broken, and songs are now better than they've ever been." Paul ranted.

"What can you do about it now?" The shadow shrunk. Paul's fear was replaced with anger.

"I hate you!" Paul screamed. He was so angry every ounce of thought left his head. He tried hitting the shadow, but he ended up smashing his hand into the wall. He and the shadow heard a loud crack!

"Great now my wrist is broken," Paul whined. He grabbed it trying to ease the pain.

"You really thought it would be a good idea to punch a shadow, it's like a kid trying to chase its shadow." The shadow complained.

"I'm going crazy." Paul shut his eyes tightly.

Art had heard the slam. Paul had hit the wall that connected his and Paul's rooms together. It made a loud thud. Art closed his book, walking to the wall observing what was going.

He's talking to himself again.

Art heard the muffled cries. He opened his door quickly and barged into Paul's room.

"We need to go to the doctor, this is getting out of hand." Art bent down, holding Paul in his arms.

"He won't go away." Paul whimpered.

"Who? Is someone stalking you?" Art became concerned.

"No, my shadow!" Paul exclaimed.

Art rubbed his forehead. This again. He said, "I'm starting to think you have schizophrenia."

"No." Paul sneered.

"I'm just very concerned about you." Art picked up Paul's swollen wrist as softly as possible. He gently brought his wrist up, and he kissed the fracture.

Paul smiled, a jolt of pain running through his arms. He said, "Now I want you to listen, I want to spill everything. I want you to understand." Paul once again caught the dark creature out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm ready to listen." Art put Paul on his lap.

"Don't call me crazy either." Paul scolded.

"Okay, you've got my full attention." Art stopped all other small movements he was making.

"I started noticing this thing out of the corner of my eye, I could never catch a glimpse of it. As I grew, and things were stored as my history, and the shadow grew too. When we went to the library in late '63, I caught sight of it for the first time. Ever since I have been able to speak with it, it makes me relive the horrible parts of my upbringing. All of my terrible decisions." Paul explained.

Art still didn't understand, "So your shadow speaks to you?"

"Yes, I wish you could see him. I know you don't believe me, and you want to send me to an insane asylum." Paul sighed.

"I just don't know how to react. I have no idea what you're talking about, or how it is remotely possible." Art ran his fingers through his hair, trying to piece together an impossible puzzle.

"I want to show you, but I can't." Paul's voice broke.

"I'm sorry." Art admitted. "I'm sorry you have to deal with something no one can understand. I want to help you, but I don't know how!"

"Am I a burden?" Paul asked.

"No, you are nowhere close to a burden." Art let Paul nuzzle up and lay his head on his shoulder.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Paul's eyes glimmered.

"How much?" Art giggled.

"From the sun to Pluto!" Paul smiled.

"My love for you is as big as the universe." Art held Paul's hand.

Paul kissed his cheek one more time, then got up. He went to the corner of his room and picked up his guitar.

"You're going to serenade me?" Art asked.

"No, we are going to sing together, we will serenade each other." Paul sat back down with his guitar in hand.

"Why don't I sing to you?" Art whispered into Paul's ear.

"I want to sing too." Paul tuned his guitar, he started to strum the beginning of one of their newer songs named Homeward Bound. Paul had written it back in '65 while he was in England, and they had just recorded it for their fresh album Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme.

"Fine, fine." Art half smiled.

They weaved their voices together, like sewing a shirt together. Art's tenor complemented Paul's lower octave. They felt tingles down their spines. They ended the song with a kiss. Paul then tensed up, quickly pulling away from Art. Art's eyes widened, feeling hurt and concerned.

"Are you okay?" Art furrowed his eyebrows.

"It felt like a ghost going through me. It was trying to pull me away from you." Paul whipped his head around. His eyes set on the shadow, he knew it. "Excuse me." Paul got up, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Why?" Paul glared at the darkness.

"Remember, the betrayal?" He asked.

"No, we are not bringing this up again." Paul shushed the shadow.

"This is fake, and you know it." The shadow taunted.

"Just go away and let me enjoy my life!" Paul screamed. "It's you ruining the relationship, you have me leaving Artie every two seconds. You feed these things into my head, you make me hate myself even more. You make me feel like a horrible boyfriend."

"Just let me live my life." Paul walked out of the bathroom.

He felt safe sitting in Art's arms. He let him shower him with kisses, it made him light up. Paul felt like it was only them in the universe, and that is how he liked it. He loved the silence, no one was there to provoke him. He was warm.

"Can you save me?" He asked.

"I will always try to save you, I will always be there for you. Never let that shadow take hold of you."