Our Song

Waterloo Sunset

"These songs have no meaning to me anymore." Paul took the papers in his hands.

"That's okay, they just don't have the value they once had." Art read the silly little love songs.

"Professor Artie." Paul chuckled.

"Why yes, always at your service." Art laughed along with him.

Behind their laughs still laid the awkwardness of the past month. Paul has tried to forget, but the shadow comes back and tells him all about it. Artie hasn't ignored either, it comes back to him at night while he is tossing and turning.

Paul wonders after all that has happened why Art hasn't developed a past. Did the shadow lie to me? Maybe Artie hides it better than I do. In reality, Art didn't have a history that came to plague him, not yet. The shadow was creeping up on Art in his dreams, it is waiting for one more mishap to flourish.

"How long has it been since you have cleaned your room?" Art picked up a plate with crusted sauce on it.

"Awhile I guess, I am so sorry you have to see it like this." Paul picked up a crumpled piece of paper.

"I am helping you clean it after all." Art picked up a trash bag. "This should be fun."

"Really?" Paul laughed.

"Yeah, it really calms me down." Art put the third plate he found in the pile of dirty dishes.

"I'll pick up all the paper." Paul's cheeks turned red reading one of his past works.

"Ok, why?" Art found it a little strange that Paul didn't want him to pick up any of the abundances of papers that Paul had dispersed everywhere.

"There are very private words written that I am ashamed for writing down and I want to look over them," Paul explained.

"Oh ok, I understand." Art went over to pick up a can.

Art has tried so hard to become more understanding, mainly to keep things calm. He has done well so far, things have been pretty mellow between the two. It was the best times they've had together in a long time.

Paul looked at the love letter he wrote for Art, he had been expecting to give it to him. He hoped a little too much. He jumped to conclusions thinking he would be Art's boyfriend. Reading over it, brought fresh tears to his eyes.

Dear Sweetheart, I know it has been bumpy getting to this point, but you make me the happiest man in the world. I am so excited that I would marry you if I could. I know this sounds so cheesy, I just love you that much that I will get all lovey-dovey for you. I love you, Artie, forever and always.

Love and Kisses, Paul

Paul tore the letter into pieces and violently threw it into the black trash bag. Art furrowed his eyebrows and walked over to Paul.

"Are you okay, you have some strong hatred for that paper." Art observed.

"Yeah, it's just something that I hate looking back on," Paul said truthfully.

Art nodded, everyone has something they hate after a while, so I shouldn't be concerned.

"It just hurts to look at some of these things." Paul glanced at the pile of crumpled up papers in the garbage bag.

"I can get behind that, I have plenty of things I've written that I regret or can't look back on." Art smiled, trying to comfort Paul.

"It just hurts too much." Paul's voice became whiney and weak.

Art came up behind Paul, swallowing him with a hug. He spoke very softly, "Paul, I hate to see you this way."

Paul turned around and wrapped his arms around Arts torso. He sobbed into his chest. Paul looked into his crystal blue eyes and said, "I just can't take it anymore!"

"Can't take what?" Art asked.

"My mind is eating away at my sanity." Paul cried.

"Do I need to take you to a doctor?" Art brought his warm side out.

"No, he won't go away." Paul hit his head.

"Hey, stop it." Art pulled Paul's hand away from his head.

"I'm so sorry about making your life a living hell." Paul gripped even harder onto his partner.

"You don't make my life a living hell Paul." Art said.

Art's heart was racing, he wanted his friend to feel at ease. He put his feelings out of the way, just to make Paul feel better. Art kissed the top of Paul's head.

Paul gasped, "Do you really love me?"

"I don't know anymore, I wanted to make you feel better." Art bit his lip hard, hard enough to draw blood.

"I think there is something in there." Paul giggled.

"Maybe there is, I don't know." Art shrugged.

"Hey, I won't push it this time, I'll let you figure it out for yourself." Paul smiled, he didn't want Art to feel obligated to date a gender he does not want to date, but he did realize maybe Art is hiding his feelings too.

"Thanks." Art got up.

"Hey, we should finish cleaning this room." Paul scanned the heap of trash in the corner of his room.

"Yeah." Art smiled.

***

"So your thinking Art has a little crush on you, after what happened?" The shadow sat upon Paul's bed.

"Well, I think he is hiding his feelings as I did," Paul said.

The shadow looked skeptical, "Just because he kissed your forehead doesn't mean jack shit."

"How would you know, you are the past, not the future?" Paul scowled.

"Well remember that one girl who kissed your forehead and you never saw her again?" The shadow dug up another moment Paul wanted to forget.

"Yeah, I remember," Paul said in defeat.

"You can't make assumptions."