Our Song

If I Could

A/N: Sorry for not uploading for so long, One I got really lazy tbh and school started, and now we are halfway through the year. I also got more ideas for this story so I will be writing more often. Thanks for still supporting me, it means the world to me!

Paul stood in front of the mirror, he straightened his tie and pressed his hands against his white button-up shirt. The old memories of terrible self-esteem issues came flooding back. The shadow deep in Paul's mind. He never felt attractive enough. He thought about how short he looks aside, Art. No matter how hard he tried to shut the voices out, they just got louder.

"This is all an act, remember when Susan who said she loved you," The shadows taunting words wrapped around Paul's head.

"It's not an act, Artie isn't like that." Paul turned to look at the shadow. "It was hard for him to even admit his love to me, he was waiting for the right time."

"He also turned to the bottle for a while." The shadow smirked.

"Yes, but we are fixing that problem." Paul sneered.

"Problems never really go away." The shadow sat on Paul's shoulders, only making him feel more depressed.

"Well, you're the prime example of that." Paul tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept streaming down. "What can you make me cry now?"

"Well not exactly, but I can tell you things that make you cry." The shadow smirked.

"Why can't you just enjoy something for once?" Paul glared at the shadow.

"I bring out all the bad things about you, and the things you hate." The shadow explained. He continued to perch himself on Paul's shoulder. The longer he stayed there, the more he fed bad memories into Paul's head, and the more he cried.

"I want this date to be enjoyable, so I'd like you to stay home," Paul said bluntly.

"I can't just stay at home, but I can hide. Well, I can become your shadow." The thing that had been plaguing Paul disappeared.

Paul looked behind him, and saw his shadow, he walked a few steps to see if it moved as he did. It did. It rose more questions for Paul, "So when you're talking to me my shadow disappears."

"In short yes," The shadow responded.

"That's a trip." Paul went back to looking in the mirror. He messed with his hair, trying to get his short bangs just where he wanted them. He was trying to look in tip-top shape.

Art was standing in his room doing the same exact thing, but he had no shadow to talk to. He didn't really mind what he was looking like, but tonight was special. He even wet down his hair to comb it for once. He set aside the sweaters he loved to wear, and wore a red tie and a button up shirt. They were both trying to look presentable for each other. 

"First date." Art whispered to himself, messing with his hair as it dried. "Got to make a good impression, hell we have been friends for fifteen years already. What impression am I trying to make? Oh right, I want to be a good boyfriend as much as a good friend. I've got to put my past feelings behind me."

Art was done sometime before Paul. Paul was still messing with his appearance, trying to become the vision he wanted to be. Art didn't care, he just wanted to see Paul as he usually would.

Paul sat on his bed, head drooped, and crying. He hadn't stopped crying since the shadow rested on his shoulder, but the memories just continued to come back. Eventually, a question came into his mind.