I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
But like, when you're told you and you're parents made up. It's good news. Then someone dampens it by saying someone in they're family died.. I WAS FINALLY FUCKING HEALING. FINALLY. I WASNT CUTTING MYSELF AS MUCH, AND NOW, THANKS TO SO MUCH STUFF, IM BACK AT SQUARE ONE. I HOPE THAT THEYRE HAPPY. IM TIRED OF PEOPLE ASSUMING WHY IM SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME. WHY IM SO UPSET. OKAY, IM STILL TRYIN TO FORGET ABOUT A TRAUMATIC PAST. IM STILL TRYING TO FORGET THE FACT IM GONNA BE BULLIED AGAIN IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS, IM TRYING TO FORGET THE FACT THAT MY YOUNGEST BROTHER WANTS TO COMMIT SUICIDE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT?! HAPPY?! ITS BAD ENOUGH THE WAY I FEEL THINGS, I DONT FORGET ABOUT IT. ITS BAD ENOUGH, IM HEARTBROKEN. ITS BAD ENOUGH IM BIPOLAR AND ANXIOUS. I JUST..I FUCKING CANT ANYMORE. JUST CANT.
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS?! WHO BECOME THE PERSON THSTS HURTING?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT WHEN ALL I FEEL IS ANGER AND SADNESS?! WHEN ALL I FEEL IS DEPRESSION?! I CANT, I CANT BE HAPPY! I CANT. NOT UNTIL I FIGURE OUT A WAY TO NOT FEEL! TO NOT LOVE. TO NOT CARE. I WAS FUCKING HEALING. FUCKING FINALLY. FINALLY.
I THINK ITS JUST..I THINK ITS TIME TO LEAVE FOR A BIT. BECAUSE IM TIRED. OF EVERYTHING. OF THE DRAMA!
IM TIRED OF BEING THE PERSON THAT TICKS PEOPLE OFF UNKNOWINGLY!
IM TIRED OF BEING CONFUSED AND IN A CORNER!
IM TIRED OF IT.
SO, SO MANY DAYS I LAY ON THE FLOOR AND STARE AT MY CEILING. JUST THINKING.
ANOUT HOW IM A FUCKING MISTAKE.
ABOUT HOW I CAUSE PAIN
ABOUT HOW I THINK IM HELPING, WHEN IM NOT
ABOUT HOW MUCH HAPPIER YOUD BE WITHOUT ME HERE!
IM JUST, I CANT.
YOU ARE READING
All about......ME
RandomBasically, some stuff I feel the need to get off my chest. And stuff about ME
