Bodysnatchers

12

Keith wakes up Saturday morning and already feels like something is sitting on his chest. His head is spinning with so much already and it is not helping solidify going to see Pidge and Matt.

He eventually rolls himself off of his bed and to his feet, trudging downstairs to make himself a peanut butter sandwich.

"Hey there, Keith," Shiro says from the living room as he's getting a knife out of the drawer.

Keith hums back in acknowledgement, not really in the mood to be broken from his thoughts and have another one of those discussions with Shiro.

"Any plans today?"

Keith hears Shiro walk into the kitchen and lets out a loud breath, while looking at his soon to be food on the counter.

Keith realizes keeping to himself until he leaves is not an option Shiro is allowing.

"I don't know," he replies, trying his best to keep this short.

"Oh, let me tell you about this guy who I work with. He has been the absolute worst- complete douchebag," Shiro begins.

The Matt and Pidge situation really is stressing him out. He just doesn't want to fuck things up any farther than they already have been, and with his recent track record of explaining his actions, his chances of reconciling things with the two aren't looking the greatest. Keith knows the both of them are open minded and forgiving as long as neither of them were unsafe, and as far as keith's knowledge goes, he hadn't put either of them in any kind of danger, so they should in theory forgive him for being a head ass, yet that doesn't ease his anxiety at all. Along with those thoughts, ten more reasons why they would still hate him rise up above his reasoning.

As Keith half pays attention to Shiro's story, he continues to repeat the motion of spreading peanut butter on bread, despite not needing to anymore. The sandwich is done. It's been done for a minute now, yet Keith cant bring it on himself to stop.

Shiro eventually takes notice.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No nothing's wrong, just," fuck. He freezes on what to explain here. Why hadn't he just stopped at there's nothing wrong, and feel it was necessary to continue the explanation. It isn't necessary.

"Just, uh, more stressed about exams than usual," Keith says.

He figures that he couldn't tell Shiro about going to see Matt or Pidge without being questioned 'why now?' so he goes for the next best thing, and hopes he isn't seen through. Being stressed about exams is not by any means a lie, it's just not the whole reason something's wrong.

But that's better than making up full on excuses that are formulated. He's done with doing that, he doesn't feel good doing that.

"Oh!" Shiro exclaims. "I forgot it's exams now, I'm so used to exams being in April at this point."

Keith feels a bit less tense as Shiro accepts his excuse and finally closes his sandwich, and taking a bite. He turns to look at Shiro finally.

"Yeah, I'm going to go to the school again later today to study out of my room, if that's okay?"

Shiro nods. "Yeah, of course, just be home for dinner, or text if you won't be. You know the deal by now."

Keith nods back and decides that he can leave the conversation now, so he heads for the stairs.

Keith decides he can tell Shiro about Matt and Pidge once it's over.

--------------

Keith's nervous, standing outside of Matt and Pidge's house with butterflies constricting his throat and shivers creeping up his spine.

The thing is that there is no guarantee they'll forgive him- this isn't High School Musical, and not everything can be worked out with an apology after the climactic breakdown. His hand pauses, just inches away from the doorbell, his fingers out and ready to press, but he doesn't. Because they could both just easily turn him away, send him away from the doorstep and disband over a decade's worth of friendship- that is, if Keith hasn't already done that himself.

His eyelids flutter shut momentarily, and he lets out a breath, and then he's quickly pushing his thumb down on the golden bell and waiting.

And- that's what he does. Stand for a few moments, shivering because weather has betrayed him yet again, and there's a drizzle falling from a downcast grey sky, and it's fucking cold for mid to late June. And he waits.

The door opens a few seconds later. And there is Pidge, their hair messy, clad in a tank top and pokemon pj pants that engulf their body because of how big they are and how small Pidge is. They look essentially the same as they had last time Keith was here even though so much has changed and that's sort of comforting.

"Keith?" their voice sounds surprised, and their facial expression mirrors that. Not angry. Keith twists his fingers together, hoping that Pidge doesn't think that he's only here because of his break up with Lance. He couldn't handle that- he's come here because it's taken a while and he's at last realized that he's been in the wrong. He's come here because the three of them have been best friends since he knew what a best friend was and that it couldn't just be Shiro and him.

And, loneliness may have been the catalyst in one way or another; but not because Matt and Pidge are second best to Lance. Loneliness- it gave him time to think, time to brood and be teetering with his old edgy emo self once again, sulking by himself like he had when his parents had died. His conclusion after all of that is that he, Keith Kogane, is an asshole.

"Um," Keith says, and he tries for a smile. "Hi."

"Hey," Pidge says. Rain is still pouring, hammering down at the concrete steps inches behind Keith, scarcely missing his hood. "Do you want to come in?"

Keith nods. "Please," he murmurs.

Pidge stands back, allowing Keith to tentatively step inside. He's shivering, his arms ridden with goosebumps- that's more from fear, though, not being cold.

He must look like the epitome of pathetic.

He slides out of his runners and unzips his hoodie, before following Pidge up the stairs, into their bedroom and it seems to all happen in a split second. Everything looks so damn familiar, and Matt's guitar is against the wall like it always had been since his room was the smaller one so a guitar didn't fit and it makes Keith's heart sting while simultaneously making him smile wide to know that they're still best friends, and as close as ever.

"So," Pidge says, eventually, when they're both sitting on his bed as they have so many times before with this tension heavy in the room. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry," Keith says. "To each of you separately."