{Complete} Love is infectious ~ Tweek x Craig / Craig of the Dead fan fiction

3

"What the fuck was that?" Jason demands.

Jason usually stays at our base instead of coming out with us so he hasn't seen the wide variety of zombies that there are.
He's seen the regular ones, which are non infectious and can't cause any lasting damage, and the plague zombies, which are the ones you need to avoid. If they bite you too many times there's a high chance you're going to turn.

"We don't know what it is exactly. It's a huge ass zombie presumably caused by mutations and it's almost impossible to kill," Tricia explains, "I've only ever seen one dead one but I don't know how it happened."

"Jesus Christ!" Jason panics, "why are we just sitting here? It's going to kill us!"

"Nah, nah," Tricia pats his knee, "we're cool. It's too fat to get in here, which is why we call them Eric Cartmans."

"After that fat kid from elementary school?" Jason asks.

Tricia nods, smiling.

I take the keys out of the car and pocket them. I get out of the car, luckily having enough space to do so in the small alley, and motion for the others to do the same.
The Cartman roars, having spotted us, but cannot reach us. I flip it off.

"Try and get us now, f-fuc-fucker!" Jimmy taunts.

I open the trunk of the car and pull out everyone's backpacks.

"Guys, come get your shit. We're walking home."

I pass Kevin his Pokémon backpack, Jason his black backpack and Jimmy his Terrence and Phillip backpack. Tricia takes her backpack from Kevin and jumps on top of the car.

She grabs hold of a fire escape ladder and climbs to the roof of the building quickly and efficiently.

"G-guys, how am I going to get up th-there?" Jimmy asks.

"Craig will carry you!" Tricia yells from the roof.

I flip her off, but I don't argue. I was going to offer anyway.
I slip off my backpack and hand it to Jason, then bend over so Jimmy can climb onto my back.

He gives his crutches to Kevin and jumps onto me piggyback style.
I grab onto the fire escape ladder and lift myself up until I can place my feet onto it. Jimmy is heavy so it's a much harder task than if I was alone, but somehow I have enough upper body strength to climb up.

The Cartman roars yet again and I almost lose grip on the ladder. It shakes madly and I loose my footing.
Jimmy tightens his grip on me, almost choking me out of fear.

"Craig, I'm t-t-too heavy for you, you're g-going to have to leave me behind." Jimmy tells me.

I shake my head.

"No way. You're part of my gang and I'm not leaving you anywhere," I find my footing again and continue climbing, "stop being so cliché."

I'm only around five feet away from the top of the building when I feel it start to shake. I look down and see Kevin climbing below me.

"Kevin, what are you doing? All three of us will be too heavy for the ladder, get down!"

The ladder creaks and Kevin yelps in fear. He tries to climb downwards, but he slips and falls off.

He hits the car with a loud thud. His body rolls off and reveals a dent that he made on impact.

"Kevin!" Jason gasps, dropping to his knees and rolling Kevin over so he's facing upwards, "shit, I don't think he's breathing..."

Jimmy taps me on the shoulder to grab my attention, then points at the alley's exit. A group of zombies have begun to wander in, interested by the scent of Jason and Kevin.

Jason grabs Kevin's unconscious, possibly dead body and shoves it in the car. He slams the door shut and jumps onto the roof, pulling his gun out of his backpack.

I'm not familiar with gun language, so I'll put it into simple terms.

It's a fucking big gun.

"Guys, go, I'll be fine!" He shouts up to us, "I'll take out these guys and make my way back with Kev."

He shoots the furthest three with his great aim.

"Craig, throw me the keys. I'll drive back once the big guy has gone."

He shoots another two as they try to grab his ankles. The gunshots are attracting more zombies, but he can't escape. It's either die or attract more.

I climb to the top of the building and make sure Jimmy is fine before tossing my keys down to Jason.

"His crutches!" Tricia exclaims, "Kevin had his crutches!"

"Oh for fuck's sake." I mutter.

I quickly climb down the ladder, making sure not to attract any attention to myself, and try to locate the crutches.
They're on the ground, left unattended from when Kevin fell, but they're also close to the zombies.

I grab my gun and check the bullets.

Three left. Shit.

"How many you got?" Jason asks, grabbing a screwdriver from his back pocket and stabbing a zombie that got too close, "I think I'm running out."

"Three." I frown.

"Fuck," Jason curses, "don't waste them. You might need them on your way back."

Now, I have previously said that plague zombies are the only ones that can infect you, so you're probably wondering why we don't just walk through the herd.

Lemme answer that question in more simple language. 

It fucking hurts to get bitten.

"Craig," Jason gasps, "I have an idea. There isn't much space in here, so if you drive the car into the herd it'll push them all backwards and away from us and the crutches."

With no hesitation, I slide into the front seat of the car. I leave the door open so I can grab the crutches and start slowly driving through.
The zombies are pushed backwards like snow on a snow plough.
I grab the crutches and place them on the passenger seat.

"What now?" I ask, eyeing the Cartman uneasily, praying it doesn't try and grab us.

"Leave. I told you, I've got this. Kevin and I will be back as soon as possible." Jason shoots a couple of zombies whilst speaking and half his sentence is lost, but I get the main point of what he is saying.

I grab the crutches and my backpack before running to the ladder. I give Jason a small wave and climb up as quickly as I can, wishing there was something I could to to help.
Tricia helps Jimmy to his feet as I check the area for any more zombies.

Luckily for us, they're all attracted by Jason's gunshots so we can escape relatively easily. It's going to be hard getting Jimmy off the roof, but we'll have to manage.

"You're staying behind next time." I tell him.

"N-not a problem," he shrugs, "hey, what does a zombie get if he's late to dinner?"

"I don't know. What?"

"The co-col-cold shoulder!" Jimmy grins.

Tricia and I laugh, appreciating the humour Jimmy brings to tense situations.

"There's another ladder here. We're going to have to use this." I point it out to Tricia.

She nods. She grabs my backpack and does her best to carry it with hers as she climbs down the ladder. It doesn't take as long to get down, so within minutes Jimmy and I are halfway down the ladder.
Tricia slips her bag off her shoulders and grabs something from it.

"Kevin gave me his katana." She frowns, holding it out to show me.

"Weird."

She wipes the blood off it with her shirt and pretends to slice through a zombie with it.

"I wonder why he left it." She mumbles.

A second later, we hear the car explode.