Gawsten Imagines

two: chances

prompt: "I never stood a chance, did I?"

"That's the sad part....you did once."

Awsten stood outside Geoff's house in the rain, soaking wet and chilled to the bone. Geoff had just broken up with him, over text, out of the blue. Awsten begged him, but over the phone wouldn't work, and he knew that. So, that's how he got here, on the porch of Geoff's wholesome white house. It was pouring in Eastern Texas, and Awsten was trembling in the cold.

"Please let me in, Geoff." Awsten's teeth chattered as they hit each other. The freezing air was cutting through him, through his drenched clothes and straight to his skin.

"No." Geoff answered, cold-heartedly. His hand still gripped the doorframe of the white wooden door, and Awsten worried it'd be slammed in his face in seconds.

"Please, Geoff. I wanna talk this through and it's freezing out here." Awsten was ready to get on his knees and plead for Geoff if he had to. "I'm gonna get sick." Geoff finally stepped aside.

"You're not stepping past my foyer."

Awsten practically rushed into the house, wrapping his arms around himself to attempt to get warm. He'd rather be basking in the warmth of his love....former love, than trying to heat himself. "Geoff; Geoff I am begging you." Awsten dropped to his knees, not to be dramatic but because his legs couldn't take the pressure a second longer. His heart was shattering. Shattering, and Awsten could do nothing to stop this.

"Awsten. Don't be a child. Stand." Geoff glared at him, shooting daggers with his eyes at the small boy, reduced to a crumbled mess on the ground. Geoff didn't care. He truly did not give a shit. He was ready to kick the lump in front of him, but he stopped himself. A ping of pain rushed through his chest at the sight. As Geoff raised his foot to land a blow to Awsten's chest, the small boy cowered away in fear.

Geoff was a monster.

He was no good to Awsten. No good for him, either. That's why this had to happen. Even if Awsten didn't want to accept it....Geoff was done with him. After two years, he was done. Done with Awsten and everything that came with him. The blue-haired boy sobbed into his hands, and Geoff wished it would trigger some emotion within him....but no. Nothing. It was as if he had gone completely heartless in the span of a few seconds.

Geoff felt nothing for Awsten anymore.

Awsten felt nothing but love for Geoff.

With every nasty look from the boy Awsten had given his whole heart to, his heart broke more. "Did I mean nothing to you these past two years? Because you meant everything to me."

"Awsten, this is the right thing to do." Geoff sighed, leaning back against the wall in an attempt to put more space between him and his now ex-boyfriend. "I'd rather destroy you by breaking up with you than lead you on when I feel nothing for you anymore, Awsten."

"So you did it over fucking text, you pussy." Awsten was the one snapping now, his voice loud, booming, and angry. He was hurt. He wanted to show Geoff how hurt he was. Awsten stood to his feet. His fists clenched and he resisted the urge to punch his love right in the jaw.

"Awsten, you would have been more upset if I did it in person." Geoff tried to keep his voice level as he ground his teeth. Geoff wanted with everything within him to launch at Awsten and bite him. To inflict pain upon him. Because the little slut deserved it, in his mind.

"Look at me now!" Aws gestured down his body. Frail and thin bones were visible through the white shirt that clung through his body. His thighs chafed and burned against the uncomfortable jeans that stuck to his skin. "Look at me, Geoff! Is this what you wanted?"

"I don't want to look at you, Awsten. You are not mine anymore. Got it? You're not my worry anymore. You're not my responsibility anymore! You need to go find somebody else to take care of your fucking needy ass."

Awsten was more hurt than he was before. He didn't think that was possible. But, Geoff made it abundantly clear that it was possible. With every word more and more of Awsten's heart broke.

"Did I mean nothing to you?" Awsten sobbed, digging his fingernails into his palms. Blood covered them within seconds. He didn't care. Carving marks into the skin of his hands stopped the urge to slap the bitch in front of him.

"Not recently." Awsten felt betrayed. He thought Geoff loved him with his whole heart. Now, he's learning very clearly that was not the case.

"I never stood a chance, did I? Did I, Geoff?" Awsten screamed the words into the burnette's face.

"That's the sad part," Awsten's past love sighed as he showed Awsten to the door. "You did once."

"Then what changed?" The younger of the pairing pleaded from the doorway.

"Too much changed, Aws." Geoff bit his lip and grabbed the door. "We're unfixable. And I need you to say goodbye now."

"Can we ever fix this? Is this just it?"

"This is it, Awsten." Geoff felt nothing as he spoke. Not even a hint of remorse. He should have felt something, but Awsten had fucked this up too many times. Only in Geoff's mind. In the colorful kid's head, he did everything he could to make Geoff happy. He thought he was what the guitarist needed.

"You said that out loud." G noted, shutting the door some. Aws was trapped. "And no....you were the exact opposite of what I needed."

Awsten backed up so far his spine his the exterior door and pushed it open. That's when Geoff slammed the door in his face. When it was shut, the blue haired boy sobbed into his hands, welcomed by the rain once again. He felt at peace in the rain, but not today. Today, the rain just matched his depressing mood. It wasn't what he needed. Just like he wasn't what Geoff needed.

Geoff didn't pout, didn't cry, didn't sigh. His heart didn't break one bit. He was burden free now. And it should've hurt him to let Awsten go, but it didn't. Geoff simply couldn't be with someone he hated.

Awsten found himself pondering on a curb some blocks away. He walked as far as he could, desperate to create space between him and his cursed lover, before he simply collapsed on the sidewalk and mounted himself against the concrete stub. Every so often, cars would splash water onto the young boy. He didn't care. He was already soaked. His own tears mixed with his spit.

Awsten felt like it was hours he was out there. His heart was reduced to ash within him. It was completely and utterly destroyed. Broken multiple times by the same man. The same man who always built Awsten up now tore him down. Like a building; brick by brick.

Awsten stayed on the curb.

Wondering.

Wondering what he could have done different.

Wondering what it would have taken for Geoff to stay.