hunter and huntress ➳ alec lightwood

im sorry

on this app we are a family, whether what u look like, how old u are, or where u come from. we are a family and u never turn your back on family. with that being said, i think i owe u guys an explanation.

this past year has not been easy. i havent felt
like myself in a long time and i lost all interest to continue writing. a lot of the year was hell on me. as many of u know i started high school, and it was fine at first. i made a lot of new friends and i was ecstatic. but as the months went on i realized that my "friends" werent friends at all. a lot of them talked mad trash about me behind my back, spread my personal secrets around, and were overall fucking fake. i spent the last month of the year avoiding all my friends no matter how much they asked to hang. and when it came down to it i called them out ( even tho ive done it countless times in the past ). i called them out on how they excluded me from all their hangouts, talked about me, went after the guys i liked on purpose, etc etc.. overall, i didnt want to be here anymore.

when summer was almost here, i started hanging out with my brothers friends bc they thought that i didnt deserve to be treated like how my old friends treated me. i was finally starting to feel better about myself mentally, especially when i started talking to this guy that i really liked. i had only ever liked one guy before him but i moved on, even tho he will always have a place in my heart ( seeing as i spent 3 years totally "in love" with him ) anyways, i started talking to this guy, who well call mike. we talked for months and we were eachothers best friends on snapchat (how romantic ik ) but eventually i got sick of waiting around. i had heard that he was a bit of a player from some of my friends and i wasnt looking to be played with once again. so i told him how i felt, and he said we should just be friends because itd be weird with him being friends with my brother.

i felt so unbelievably shitty about myself after that, i didnt do anything for weeks. we still talk everyday and weve gotten super close and all my friends think he likes me, but i cant help but feel like every time i feel i got something going for me, somethings gotta ruin it for me.

thats why im so hesitant to continue this book. i dont watch shadowhunters anymore, but i want to continue this for u guys. but at the same time i know something will happen and i will lose interest in this book once again and i dont want to ghost u guys like that anymore.

i was at summerfest last night and saw halsey, logic, and nf, and u could say i felt inspired. so please, comment if u want me to give this book one more shot or just discontinue it now.

all my love,
-a