Round Here

Chapter Twenty

September '83

As I had hoped I recovered quickly from the surgery. I was glad to do so. We calmly celebrated my thirty third birthday without any troubles. Which was good. Little Sonny turned fifteen on the fifteenth anniversary of her mother's death. It was a bittersweet moment. Freddie and I shared a few things without C's knowledge and she appreciated it. She's just a curious girl who wants so badly to know her mother. C won't tell her anything because he has grown to resent Em. Hates her for leaving him behind with his daughter. It's like he's saying 'how dare she' in this situation. C's alcoholism maybe a factor behind the hatred of Em, but I'll never know. Since July she's finally officially moved in. C said he didn't care what she did anymore because she was just her mother's child. She came crying to Sonny and I telling us how he blamed her for her mother's death and told her he didn't love her as much as he used to. So we took her in. Dad was pissed. He didn't speak to C for a week. I didn't either. This month did bring both joy and sadness. Sonny and I celebrated our fifteenth anniversary and now we're waiting for mama's death anniversary. I can't believe it'll be eighteen years this year. I still remember it like it was yesterday, and I know dad does too. 

Today Sonny and I were coming in from a doctor's appointment. The kids should have been home. So I wasn't too worried. We came into the mall expecting things to be going well. We were wrong. We saw Marlon and Carlo getting into it. Sonny pulled into the driveway. Once he stopped the car we got out. "Marlon enough!" "I'm gonna kill him!" I went over to them. Sonny followed behind me. "You're not killing him." I said as I pulled him back. "He hurt her! I'm gonna kill him." "Hurt who?" "Sonny! Let me at him mama." I let him go. He went back to Carlo. He got a few more punches in before Carlo hit him good. It took one punch for Sonny to knock him off his feet. "Get in your fucking house." He said to Carlo. We walked away from the scene. Marlon just went to his bedroom. I let him be since he needed to cool down. 

I walked into the living room to see the kids watching t.v. with Freddie and Tom. "Hello my loves. How was school?" Some of them ignored me. "Mama it was good. We got good marks. Uncle Mimi put it on the fridge for us." I smiled at the twins. Caroline was busy reading her math text book. "Mama I got an A on my math test." "Good job sweetie. How about you Rafi?" "I don't like school. The kids were mean to me." "Oh not good. Vincent?" He looked at me. He had this angry look on his face. "I got beat up today. Then the teacher told me I was stupid for not knowing what five times twelve was." I didn't even know what that was. "It's simple math Vinny. Five times twelve is sixty." Caroline said. "Okay well I'm not a nerd like you. So it's not simple for me. Also I didn't do good on my language test so Mrs. Lambert said I need to stop messing around and try harder." I sighed. "Don't worry Vinny. You're smart in your own ways. I wasn't good at anything in school." Freddie laughed. "You graduated at the top of our class. You were valedictorian. So don't say that." "Okay let me rephrase this for you Vinny. I couldn't read or do well in math. Math is hard. I get it." "Ma you can't read?" Freddie laughed again. "She couldn't read but your mother is very good at English." I rolled my eyes. "That's true, and I know how to now. Just not very well." "Mama don't you find that weird? Something you're so good at you can't even read it. Is that why you never read to us growing up?" "That was partially the reason I suppose. I don't see why you're so fascinated with the fact that I couldn't read." "Didn't Grandma ever teach you or Grandpa?" "They were too busy now drop it." "Who taught you?" Sonny spoke up. "I did now will you leave your mother alone about it. She doesn't wanna talk about it." "Fine I'll leave it be." I sighed before leaving to go make dinner. 

I didn't understand my son's fascination with the fact that I didn't know how to read. It was almost as if he could use that against me. I was rather frustrated at the moment. As I had pointed out I couldn't read well, and this recipe was pissing me off. "Sonny can you come here?" He came into the kitchen. "What my love?" I handed him the card. "Could you read this for me? I'm having troubles." He came over. "What is it here that we're reading?" "A recipe card. I want to make this." "How bout I help you make dinner? Just so you don't get too frustrated." "Alright but tell me what it says." "I will, just get the stuff out." "That's what my issue is. I can't read past chicken." "Well what do you want me to read?" I pointed to the thing below. "That says cream of chicken soup." I looked over it. "Cream of chicken? What's that?" He chuckled a bit. "Soup my love. You never heard of it?" "I have, just not that type. I think we have it. Check for me." He went over and brought me two cans of it. "It's here, now what's next?" "I see chicken in the word. Sonny can you just do it." "You'll never learn if I tell you what it is." "It's frustrating to know that your children can read better than you can." "Santina I can't do science so don't be too frustrated. I also don't know other stuff, but that's not important. Let's make dinner baby." He kissed my cheek.