8:49 a m

alone.

        I lay alone in bed, every single morning. every single night i lie alone with nobody checking up if I ate that day. I'm isolated from people who say I'm their friend. I'm away from those who said they needed me the most. I fall asleep with tears rolling down my cheeks as my lungs filled with smoke until I could no longer breathe. I sit in silence and stare into the trees with a cigarette between my fingers, a habit I should of broke last year. but what could I do when nobody was really there?

    no boy wanted me, not a whale like me anyways. that cute neighbor, that hot basketball player, that girl in my class, they all hate me. well of course, I'm not beautiful. I'm not the one anybody wants. I'm unwanted in a world of zombies and manipulated souls. it's crazy as I'm happy, but when I realize how alone I am, I break. and nothing matters. the promises don't. the clean body doesn't. the will for life doesn't.

     because truly, I am alone. and I hide in my loneliness . . .