Change me (Taylor caniff)

Chapter 7

I woke up to the door closing. The smell of pizza spread through the house. I sat up and stretched my arms out. "Cam" I walked over to him. "Cam"'I shook him. He opened his eyes. "Hmm" he hummed. "Do you want pizza" I stood up. He sat up. "Of course" he ran over to the counter. I laughed and walked behind him. I grabbed my pizza and sat back down on the couch. Taylor walked over and joined me while cam and Nash sat at the table. "Sorry about your dad" he said taking a bite. "Thanks. I just really miss him" I said fighting back tears once again. He nodded. "Sometimes if you talk about some of the memories it will make you feel better" he turned to me. "Really?" I questioned. "Yeah. That's what I had to do when my grandpa died" he smiled. "Okay." I thought of a memory to share with him. "When I was 5 it's was Christmas Eve. My mom was home and she took cam and I to the mall to see Santa. I told Santa the I my thing I wanted for Christmas was my dad to be home. When we got back home I ran into my room to get ready for be. I turned my light on and my dad was sitting on my bed. It was the best day of my life." I sighed. He nodded and smiled. " don't you feel better?" He asked. "Yeah, actually I do" I smiled. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and read the message. "Sh*t" I jumped up. "What's wrong?" Taylor asked concerned. "I forgot I'm suppose to go to dinner with a friend tonight!" I ran up the stairs. Luckily I wasn't full off the pizza. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I Left my hair natural do it hung in long dark curls. I put my shoes and went downstairs. Right as I reached the bottom step there was a knock at the door. "I'm going out with a friend" I hollered making my way to the door. I opened it and Connor was standing there. "Hey" he greeted me with a warming smile. "Hey" I smiled back as I closed the door. "You look lovely" he said sweetly. "Thanks. You look great too" I replied. His brown hair was sweep to the side neatly. His khakis, maroon button up shirt and black vans looked amazing. The only thing missing was his beanie. Ever since I've known him he always wears a beanie. It makes him look so much more like him. He doesn't look complete with out it.

"So how have you been?" Connor asked snapping me out of my thoughts. "Great" I replied. "How's your parents?" He asked. He's one of the few people that know they are in the military. "Well my moms in the hospital and my dad actually passed away yesterday" I frowned. "Oh. I'm so sorry." He said. "Yeah" I sighed. "Well he's in a better place" he said parking the car. "Yeah" I forced a smile. We got out and I followed him into the small cafe. The waiter walked us to a booth in the back. I sat down and looked out the window. "Wow. The view is amazing" I said amazed. It overlooked the lake surrounded by colorful flowers and huge trees. "Yeah. It is" he smiled. His smile is breathtaking. He beyond perfect, everything I want in a guy. But one things missing. One person doesn't compare to him.

"So. How's Cameron?" He asked. "Good. Our relationship is better now" I said happily. "That's great!" He said. He knows about all my problems. He helped me through a lot of them. "I've quit smoking. I'm writing on drinking" I smiled. "That's really good!" He replied. "Yeah. It's been tough but worth it" I took a sip of my drink. "I always knew you could do it" he flashed another smile. The Waiter brought our food to the table. Connor was another one of the "party kids". But he changed like I did.

Once we were done we got up and walked outside. "Let's go sit by the lake" he grabbed my hand and led me to the lake. "Do you still go to Luke's parties?" I asked. "No. I don't do any of that anymore" he answered. I nodded and looked out at the lake. "I've missed you" he looked at me. His emerald eyes twinkled under the moonlight. "Me too. It's been 2 years since we saw each other" I pushed my hair out of my face. "We should head home" he got up and held his hand out. I took it and we walked to the car hand in hand. Once we were in the car he pulled out and we drove home. Once we were home he walked me to the door. "I had a great time tonight" I hugged him. "Me too" he said into my hair. He pulled away and looked at my eyes then my lips. Next thing I know his lips were on mine. They were soft and we moved in sync. He pulled away. "Goodnight Bailee" he smiled and walked off. I smiled to myself and opened the door. Taylor was sitting against the wall. "Hey" I walked toward him. "Hey" he sighed. "How'd your date go?" He asked. "I never said it was a date. I just ate dinner with a friend" I said annoyed. "Girl or boy?" He asked. "Boy" I huffed. "See that's a date" he rolled his eyes. "No" I argued. "Did y'all kiss?" He asked. "No... Yeah" I said the last part quietly. "Date" he threw his hands in the air. "It went fine!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm happy for you" he stood up and walked away. I rolled my eyes. Why can't he just be f*cking happy for me instead of the a**hole he is.

I changed into my shorts and t-shirt and sat down at the barstool. Cam joined me after a few minutes. "How you doing?" He asked. "Fine" I looked up from my phone. "We need to go somewhere out of town someday soon" he sighed. "I know" I thought of having a great time somewhere far away from here. "So how'd your date go?" He put his feet up on the table. "Good. You remember Connor right?". "Yeah. He's that kid that smokes and stuff. " he said angrily. "Yes but he's changed. I'll let you meet him someday" I smiled. He nodded. "I've thought a lot about things. Things that never made since to me that do now. Sometimes I think what I did to deserve to loose my dad. Then it hits me. I was a f*cked up teenager. I made some many mistakes that I can't take back. I'm known as the "whore" of the school. All these lies people made up about me are causing that. Im still a virgin for heavens sake. I messed up a lot I know but why make up things about me when you don't even know about me. I've thought about suicide many times. But I couldn't do that to you, mom, dad, Nash, Taylor, or Connor. Maybe one say I should just end my life. It would make it easier for everyone. Y'all are the only ones that care anymore." I said randomly. "Bailee,don't ever commit suicide. Ignore all those people. Your a wonderful sister and anybody would be lucky to have you. They're just jealous of you. Please promise to me that you will never hurt yourself. You used to be a happy kid full of energy. What happened to her? You took a few wrong turns in life and that girl is now a sad, depressed teenager. I want the happy energetic you back." He hugged me. "I'm sorry. I will try as hard as I can but when my walls crash down I can't promise I can pick them back up. " I pulled away and slowly walked up the stairs.

I turned the razor over in my hand. "One time" I whispered as I cut the flesh. I watched as the blood surfaced and dripped into the sink. "Bailee?" Taylor knocked at the door. Sh*t. "Hold on" I called through the closed door. I put the razor up and washed my wrist and put a bandaid on it. I opened the door. "Yeah?" Taylor was standing against the wall. "Sorry about earlier" he said. "It's fine" I smiled. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I nuzzled my face into his chest. He rubbed my back and whispered into my hair "please don't hurt yourself". I nodded. He pulled away and grabbed my wrist. He looked at it and back at me. "Bailee" he whispered. I looked at him. "Why?" He had tears in his eyes. "I don't know" I cried. "Please. Don't do this" he moved the hair that had fallen in my face. "I'm sorry" I cried again. He kissed my wrists and wrapped me in a hug again. "I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted" I choked as I cried into his shoulder. "Your everything I want" he rubbed my back. He pulled away and kissed my cheek. "Go get some sleep" he hugged me one last time and watched as I walked to my room.

I slipped my pajamas on and laid down in bed. "I'm sorry" I whispered to the world.