Change me (Taylor caniff)

Chapter 23

"I'm Bailee" I stuck my hand out. "Taylor" he shook my hand. "Tell me about yourself Taylor" I took a seat on the couch. "You start" he said. "Okay. I'm not your basic teen girl looking for sex and boys. I don't believe in love. I've never truly loved someone. Love isn't real. It's just a word. I have trust issues. Majorly. I've been lied to and hurt to many times. I'm just a broken teenage girl trying to find her place" I said. "Okay. I'm Taylor. I'm you're basic teenage boy. Falls in love with every girl. Soon to find out not everything works out. A few girls will use you for. Yanno and then just leave. But there's this girl. She cool. Well more than cool" he laughed a little. "And who's this girl mr. Caniff" I smirked. "Oh. Just some girl" he smiled. "She seems cool" I smiled. "She is" he mumbled. "Okay. So now tell me deeper things" I said. "Like what?" He asked. "My favorite color is teal. My biggest fear is being alone. I like people who are fun and can make me laugh" I said. "My favorite color is... Idk. And my biggest fear is loosing this girl I love" he looked at me. "What's your favorite quote?" I asked. "You light my world up, set my heart on fire, and left me there to burn while you walk away" he answered. "Kind of explains my life" he said. "Oh" I shook my head. "What about yours?" He asked. "Sometimes you need to be alone, in order to find out who you really are and what you really want" I said. "Kind of explains my life" I looked down at the floor. A few minutes went by without either of us saying anything. Like one of those awkward silences. Not the good kind.

" I know I probably don't cross your mind much anymore but I hope someday you see something that reminds you of me and the things we use to spend hours talking about at night and then your throat gets tight and your heart skips a beat and you finally miss me back." "Because that's exactly how I feel". He said as he stood up. "I'm going to my room. I'll be out later, I need time to think" he walked off leaving me sitting there. Alone. My biggest fear.

My heart started to race and I couldn't breathe good. I tried to take deep breaths but it only got worse. Jace walked in and rushed over to me. "Bailee" he grabbed my hand. I jerked away and brought my legs up to my chest. "Bailee. What's wrong" jace asked worried. "Panic attack" Taylor said as we walked down the stairs. "What do we do?" Jace yelled. Taylor pushed him out of the way and sat down beside me. He rubbed my back and pulled me over to him. "Shh. It's okay Bailee. Im here." He whispered softly in my ear. He motioned for jace to leave and continued to run my back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you like that." He said. "Take deep breaths." I tried to control my breathing. Once it calmed down a bit and looked over at him. "You okay?" He asked. "When am I ever?" I put my head back down. "Bailee. You know I will always be there for you. No matter how mad I am at you." He held my hand. "I'm sorry Taylor. I love you. I can't do this us not being together anymore. I miss you" I leaned into is side. He smiled and pulled me onto his lap. He looked down at my lips and back at my eyes. I nodded slightly and he leaned in. Our lips attached and he moved his hand up and down my back. He stood up and lead me into his room shutting the door behind me. We connected our lips again. He continued to kiss me and run his fingers down my back. "Taylor" I whispered as I pulled away. "Babe" he groaned. "We need to stop" I said. "Why?" He pulled me onto his lap. "I don't want to take things to far" I said. "We won't. Just. A few more minutes" he ran his thumb over my lip. I thought for a minute and then leaned in again. He smiled into the kiss and grabbed me by the waist. "I love you so f*cking much" he said then continued. I ran my fingers through his hair and he ran his fingers down my waist. He stopped at the hem of my pants and pulled away. "That's enough" he said softly. "What's wrong" I asked. "I dont want to take things to far." He said. "Thanks for being considerate about that" I smiled. "I don't want to be a dad yet"he chuckled. "Good" I laughed. He smiled and walked over to the mirror. "D*mn my hairs a mess" he laughed lightly. "You change your attitude so quick" I laughed. "I know" he smiled. "I've missed your lips" he hugged me. "I've missed you in general" he said again. I smiled. "You know Taylor. Whenever I'm with you it's like nothing bothers me. Anxiety, depression, everything. It's all gone" I looked at him. "That's great babe " he kissed my forehead. He took my hand and walked to the living room. "I have to go pick some stuff up from the store. Want to come or stay?" He asked. "I'll stay" I let go of this hand. "Okay" he walked back into his room. He came back out a fr minutes later with some sweat pants and a hoodie on. "Bye" he kissed my cheek and walked out the door.

"So yall back together?" Jace asked from the landing. "No. Not yet" I said. "Oh" he nodded. He ran his fingers through his hair. "So how you doing?" He asked walking closer. "Okay " I shrugged. He smiled. "You can say no but I have a question." He looked into my eyes. "Go ahead." I said. "Can I kiss you?" He leaned closer. Before I could answer his lips landed on mine. I tried to pull away but I couldn't. Our lips moved in sync. I ran my fingers through his messy curls. He smiled into the kiss and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we continued for a few more seconds. He pulled away and sat me down. "Wow" he smiled. "You're pretty good" he smirked. "Practice" I laughed. "Taylor doesn't have to know about that" he said. "We aren't Dating" I said "still" he said and walked off.

Later on Taylor walked into the living room. "I'm back" he sat down beside me. "I see" I smiled. "Uhm. Can I tell you something." I whispered knowing it was wrong not to tell him. "Sure" he replied. "Alone" I gulped. "Yeah" he slowly said. He lead me to his room and shut the door. "What's up?" He asked. "Please don't get mad." I pleaded. "I won't" he held my hand. "While you were gone. I uhm. I kissed jace" I mumbled. He looked hurt for a minute then spoke. "Okay" he nodded. "You're not mad?" I asked "no. We aren't dating. We just kissed that's all." He said. "I'm sorry. But you were better" I smiled. "Wait yall like made out?" He asked. "kind of" I let go of his hand. "Like we did?" His eyes got big. "No. Not like that. Just like a few seconds." "Okay" he said. I stayed silent and waited for him to say something. "I'm not mad" he raised his voice. I jumped a little at his sudden mood change. I nodded and scooted a little farther away. He shook his head and punched at the pillow. "You said you weren't mad" I mumbled. "I'm not. Just upset" he stood up. "Why upset?" I asked. "Because" he yelled. "Because why?" I yelled back. "Because we f*cking made out earlier and you made me feel like you loved me for a moment and now I just feel used" he yelled. "I don't love anybody. But yes I have feelings for you" I walked towards him. "Well guess what. I love you and how am I suppose to be happy when you don't love me back" he said quieter this time. "I don't love anybody. I do have feelings for you though" I told him.

"Quit f*cking and come out here. It's time to party" jace banged on the door. "I know you kissed her" Taylor said as he opened the door. "What the f*ck Bailee" his face got red. "It's good man. She single remember" he patted his shoulder. "Now get out I got to change" Taylor said to us. I walked along with Jace. Jace went to let the people in and I walked out back to get some air. I shivered. It was chilly tonight. I walked to the edge of the woods and listened to the creek as it soothed me. "You okay?" Taylor asked from behind me. "Yeah"'I took a deep breath. "I just down think I should be in there with all those people at the moment" I said. "Okay" he nodded. "Are you cold?" He asked. "Kind of" I answered. "Do you want my hoodie" he asked. "No I can go change clothes" I turned to face him. "Let's go get clothes then" he took my hand and we walked into the crowded house. " He had on a hoodie and some tight fitting jeans and there I was with gym shorts and a tee shirt. He lead me through the crowd and to my room. "I'll wait out here" he said. "You can come in" I laughed. He followed me in and shut the door. "Let me pick your clothes out" he smiled. "Sure. Something warm though. Im freezing" I laughed. "Here" he handed me a hoodie and some skinny jeans. I began to take my shirt of and he turned around. "Wow. You're the only boy that turns around when girls change" I told him. "It's the polite thing to do" he said. "I'm done" I said. He walked over to the door and opened it. I walked out into the hallway and waited for Taylor at the end. "There's to much people here" Taylor complained as he pushed past a drunk couple making out. "I have to go find jace. I'll be right back" he said as he ran off.

I walked over to an open barstool and took a seat. I laid my head down and closes my eyes. I began to feel closed in and like the air was getting thin. I didn't want to have another attack today. I started to feel dizzy so I poured me a glass of water. Some girl took my seat so walked out front and sat down on the steps. I pulled my phone out and Taylor had texted me a million times.

Taylor: Bailee where are you?
Taylor: where are you?!!!
Taylor: Bailee where the f*ck are you?!
Taylor: I swear to God if somebody touches you there's going to be a fight!
Taylor: Bailee. Where are you!

I texted him back quickly.

"Out front sorry"

I turned my phone off and waited for him. A few minutes later the front door opened and Taylor walked out. "Oh my god Bailee. Dont f*cking do that" he leaned against the door. "I just walked outside" I laughed. "I know but there's a bunch of drunk people here" he sat down beside me. "Sorry" I whispered. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Nothing"

"Bailee. I know you. Something's wrong. Please tell me" he wrapped his arms around me.

"Honestly Taylor. Everything's wrong"