Forbidden Pleasures

[24.]

"The thing is, Cassandra, I can't seem to stay away from you. Therefore, I don't want us to end this, at least not anytime soon."

I tense up against his body and want to get up, but Adrian holds me tighter against him. "Adrian," I warn him, not liking this.

"No, I want you right where you are," he mumbles.

Yes. Of course he does. I grunt, but don't try to move again. "We had a deal that both of us can end this at any time. You're going against your word now."

"I want assurance."

"Assurance? What assurance? This is a small fling between us. You know it can never be anything else and you know this can't last for long." I also refuse to get my heart broken by a man like him – who I know is unavailable.

Adrian sighs. "I feel like you don't feel the same about me as I do about you."

I stop breathing for a second. This time, I manage to move away from his chest to look at him. "Disculpe?"

Adrian settles his eyes on my face. "You heard me."

"But I don't think I understood the meaning of your words."

"It feels like you can put distance between us anytime you want. It feels like you can stay away from me. And I just can't." Adrian wears such a sombre expression, it makes my chest feel tight. He sounds sincere. And he sounds sad.

"Eso no es cierto. That's not true, Adrian." I put my hand on his bicep, softly squeezing his flesh. I don't know where his vulnerable side appeared from, but it's putting me into a position where I don't know what to say back to him.

"You had no problem ending things between us and acting like I don't exist. I did not like that. I hated it, in fact."

Dios. Adrian is really here, baring me his soul and openly talking about his feelings. I think I got so used to his cold side, to him not showing his feelings that when he opens up and talks about them, it makes me speechless.

I like that he's so open about it, I'm just afraid I don't know what he expects my answer to be and I don't want to disappoint him. "You knew what this was before you came to me with the proposal. You knew it better than me. And I heard that this isn't the first time doing this. You never had a problem ending things, Adrian, and that's why I'm afraid to jump into this."

Adrian settles down a little lower on the bed and looks up at the ceiling. I sit by his side and watch him as a long silence stretches between us. I'm biting the inside of my mouth, willing myself to keep quiet and give him time to think about it and what he's going to tell me.

"You're screwing everything up for me. And I don't like it."

I lower my eyes. "Even one more reason to end this now, then," I say quietly, twisting my hands in my lap.

Adrian inhales sharply, turning his head in my direction. "I can't. I can't stay away! For Christ's sake, Cassandra." He pinches his nose bridge. He sounds and looks mad. "Stop saying that! I can't, nor do I even want to stay away."

"Alright. What do you want, then?" I ask patiently and calmly.

Adrian looks at me. "I don't want you to end this. Ever. I want to change our terms."

I cock my head to the side. "You want to take away my 'right' to end this. Is that what you're saying?"

Adrian only slightly purses his lips, but stays quiet otherwise.

"Absolutamente no!" Absolutely not. I'm outraged. "You can not be serious, Adrian," I continue, a little calmer. "That's not how a relationship between two people work."