ʻʻWhat's forbidden is always the sweetest.ʼʼ
This is a story where you're going to hate him. You might even hate her. The two people who are doing something very wrong in other people's eyes, but to them it's the most right thing they've ever done...
The days after the funeral were still hectic. I've never imagined I'd see Mrs Welch this wrecked. I don't know what she's more sad about; losing her father or Adrian still insisting on divorce, now even more than before.
I think Mrs Welch is sadder about that rather than losing her father. Or both mixed together. I stumbled across an argument between her and Adrian when I was taking the clothes to clean them. I didn't exactly hear what it was about, but she was crying and she sounded desperate. Adrian, on the other hand, remained calm and stoic.
It's good to see he's not only like that with me, but with others as well. I've always hated that. It appears that he doesn't care enough to show any emotion and that sucks because I'm an open book when it comes to emotions. He can read me too well and I can't read him at all sometimes. Or I read him all wrong.
Mrs Welch was the one who noticed me. Well, I didn't even see Adrian since he was inside his office and Mrs Welch was outside. Her face was full of hatred when her eyes laid on me.
"Disculpe," I apologise and go past her on the hall.
"It's because of her, isn't it? It's because of a fucking maid who can't even speak English that you can't keep your Goddamn promise!"
I slowed down my pace because her words surprised me and I also wanted to hear Adrian's response, but he spoke too quietly so I continued my way.
I'll have to go see Adrian again, just to ask him when it's going to be the right time for me to leave. I think he did this on purpose, not telling me anything and not giving me a specific time for how long I have to stay here. But I'm not going to beg him to let me leave. This is my right. I want to go. I need to.
If he loves to see me being a fool for him, he's going to need to find someone else. I don't want to be the one who begs for love. If it isn't given freely, then I don't want it, no matter how much it hurts.
I don't know what job I'm going to take next. Maybe I should start asking in the bars. The pay won't be this high, but it'll at least be something to help me get through. Right now, my priority is just to leave. I'll figure out the rest later.
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I busy myself with doing chores around the house – what I'm basically paid for. I want to go talk to Adrian, but I don't know in what mood he is after the talk with his wife, even though hours have passed since then. He went out for lunch and Mrs Welch declined food so I suppose the talk didn't go well, whatever it was about.
But I heard Adrian came back not that long ago and I want to see him. I try to convince myself it has nothing to do with me wanting to see him, that I'm only going to see him so we can talk about me leaving already. I don't tell Milena about my plan, either. I'm afraid she'd disapprove or say anything that would delay this talk again.
I'm sure about this. I'm sure no one and nothing can change my mind.
I go to Adrian's office in the evening, after the dinner. He didn't come down to eat. It's kind of annoying how Milena and I are cooking for them and then none of them decides to eat and all the food goes to waste. I know hunger and that's why it makes me so mad when I have to throw all the food away.
