Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella.

Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella. *9* - Is it Matt's fault?

“What do you mean? We can't be more that friends?” Matt demanded, Bella's eyes started filling with tears.

She was too scared to be in a real relationship, after all she hadn't socialised with anyone in years and she had never even been on a date. “I'm s-” she started but Matt stormed out the house, slamming the door behind him. Bella felt behind her to find the surface edge and gripped it before sliding down to hit the cold, wooden floor. She crossed her legs and lay her face in her hands, she let out a shaky, frustrated sigh. “What have I done?” she muttered to herself.

She sat in that exact spot until she had cried herself dry, which must have been hours. Matt still hadn't returned back to the house but Bella was too upset to worry. She placed her palms against the floor and forced herself to get up, she took slow, unstable steps towards the bathroom.

Her hands fumbled through the cabinet until she found some pills, she turned and locked the bathroom door. Filling a glass with water she took the pills out of their container and shoved them into her mouth, taking a drink she forced herself to swallow the pills. Bella allowed the glass to slip from her hands, she watched it fall in slow motion, shattering to pieces as it hit the tile flooring. She then crouched down to pick up a chard. She pressed it to her skin “Ugly.” she said bitterly, forcing the glass to slice through her skin, leaving a deep, long cut oozing with blood. “Worthless.” She cut again. “Ugly.” and again.. “Unwanted.” this time she let out a high-pitched scream as she hit a vain, her clothing was covered in her own blood, her arm was dripping with the red liquid so much that you couldn't even make out where the cut was.

“You bleed just to know that you're alive.” she recalled the lyrics as she lay down in her own blood, ready to surrender to the Grim-reaper. Her vision began to blur and she slowly closed her eyes, a tear slid from the corner of her left eye and joined the blood on the floor.

–--

Meanwhile with Matt.

–

After storming out of the house Matt headed further into the forest in order to clear his head, he started to pace like a fool. He wasn't really angry, he was more upset and hurt. Matt felt like Bella had used him somehow, although he knew that it wasn't true he still felt that way nonetheless.

He circled the forest until he had calmed down, only to find that he was lost. This frustrated Matt even more, he stopped and leaned against a near tree trunk and began to violently kick the bark from the tree truck. “What have I done?” he asked himself the same question as Bella was asking herself. He sucked in a harsh breath to calm down and began to find a way back to the house, deciding that he could have changed Bella's mind he had played his cards right. Little did he know about what was happening back at the house. He had forgotten about Bella's bipolar in his fit of rage, only now did he recall.

He finally got back to the house, “Bella?” he called only to be greeted by silence. “Bella?” he called, this time his voice was filled with urgency. He began frantically searching every room of the big house. Finally when he had search every room he gave into his fear and went to the bathroom, as he suspected the door was locked. He shook the handle aggressively one last time to be certain.

“Bella, open the door.” He shouted, when he got no answer he began to pound on the weak, wooden door, “Unlock the door!” he began to charge at the door, he used his body weight to try and break the door, he did this three times before the door gave way, landing with a loud thump.

Matt's eyes began scanning the scene that lay in front of him, he looked over the smashed glass on the floor, then to the puddle of blood and then his eyes rested on Bella's lifeless body. Matt's breath caught in his throat and he couldn't move. His eyes began to sting as tears made their presence known. So many thoughts trailed through his mind, mostly filled with blame, yes, he blamed himself for this situation, after all who wouldn't blame their self?

Finally he snapped out of his thoughts and thudded to the floor next to Bella, he took her blooded wrists into his hands and used his trembling fingers to frantically search for a pulse. “Come on.” he breathed out. There was no pulse to be found, he began to panic further, he felt along her chest hoping to feel a heart beat but he had no luck, he began trying to resuscitate her, pressing his hands harshly to where her heart was supposed to be beating, he repeated his actions fifteen times before finally giving up. He pressed his lips to Bella's after opening her mouth, he tied to give her mouth-to-mouth in the hope that it would bring her back to life, he shared his breath with hers once more before giving out a frustrated sigh.

Matt pulled out his phone and began to phone an ambulance “Hello?”

“I need some help, my gir- my friend attempted suicide and most probably succeeded. Help me.” he whispered, sounded defeated.

“Where are you both right now, sir?” Matt gave her the address and hung up. It didn't take long for the ambulance and paramedics to arrive but to Matt it felt like hours, he refused to let go of Bella until they arrive, even then he refused to let her hand slip from hers.

“You're going to have to let go, sir,” the medic told him but he shook his head stubbornly.

“But-”

“No, I'm coming with you.” he glared.

–--

Matt was sat in the waiting room with his head in his hand, silently sobbing, they had just taken Bella into theatre to operate, that was all the information that Matt had been given and it frustrated him that they wouldn't tell him more. “Would you like anything, sir?” he looked up to find a polite, middle aged female nurse smiling sadly down to him.

“No, thanks.” he chocked out through sobs, she only nodded her head and walked away.

So many thoughts spread through his mind but they all lead to the same question; what would he do if he lost Bella? His life-long friend, his best friend, the love of his life? He could not deal with that pain. The thought made him cry harder.

–--

“Sir? Are you Miss Hanley's boyfriend?” a voice male voice said, Matt slowly opened his eyes, rubbing them, trying to adjust to the light of the waiting room.

He frowned deeply, “Yeah, I'm her boyfriend.” he felt no need to correct the doctor. “How is she?” he asked hopelessly.

The doctor gave a sad smile that reminded Matt of the nurse. “She's still in theatre,” the doctor paused thoughtfully, “but I think it's best to prepare yourself for the worst, she did loose a large amount of blood and the pills have poisoned her system.” the doctor informed him, Matt let the tears build again.

He looked up at the doctors ID card, “Thanks, Doctor Eed.” he replied.

“I'm so sorry Bella, stay with me.” he whispered into thin air when the doctor had disappeared.

–--

I know, I know, depressing chapter. So what do you think? Hate or love Matt? Will Bella survive, if not, what will Matt do? Is it his fault?

Vote/comment.