Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella.

Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella. *4*

Hey, well I have writers block so had to force myself to write this, sorry if it sucks.

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Bella lowered herself carefully onto the oversized sofa that made her looking incredibly fragile and tiny, showing her for what she was. She looked over at Damen expectedly and he sat down beside her as Matt stood in front of them both, looking rather awkward, he gently scratched his neck.

“Bella,” Damen started, “I have some business to tend to and I will be away for a couple of days, so Matt,” he gestured in Matt’s direction with a hand “volunteered to look after you.” Damen informed her. Bella felt confusion rise inside of her.

“Where are you going?” she questioned him,

“Just to visit some family.” Bella could not recall having any family besides Damen and their farther, tears threatened to escape her eyes so she pushed them away with the tip of her thumb.

“O-okay, when are you going?” Damen looked at his sister and hesitation appeared in his eyes.

“Now.” He whispered sadly and pulled Bella into a tight yet gentle hug; she allowed a few tears to fall but quickly removed the salty liquid from her face before anyone noticed and pulled away, giving a weak smile in her brother’s direction.

“I love you.” Damen whispered,

“I love you too.” she replied.

“Matt, look after my sister.” Matt nodded and pulled Bella towards him and Damen turned, walking away.

After Damen had left, Bella returned to her room, refusing to leave, not that she had been asked to anyway. She was scared, more than she had ever been before. Damen had never planned on leaving her for that long before and the idea of him not being there to protect her terrified her.

She began to nervously dig her blunt nails into her arm, apply more pressure by the minute, she did it absent-mindedly, it kind of comforted her in a twisted way.

Bella gasped and released her grip, only noticing when her nails had dug so far into her skin that it drew blood from her wrist, stinging indescribably, her nails had cut deep. Deeper than anything so blunt should be able to but that's the thing with blunt objects, they cause more damage than sharp objects due to the fact that you apply more pressure because you expect them to do little damage.

The blood began gashing out from them four tiny yet deep cuts on her wrist so she had no choice but to leave her room and go to the bathroom.

Bella crept to the bathroom, trying her hardest not to make the floorboards creek, she could not risk Matt hearing her, she was too ashamed. She was afraid that he would judge her or worse; freak out. Bella could not deal with any more drama, it had been all her life had consisted of from the age of seven and if there were to be any more drama she felt like that would have been the end of her.

Bella ran the cold water, slowly, allowing it to drizzle onto her skin, it raised goosebumps on the surface of her skin, she winced and drew in a sharp breath as the water touched her cuts. She watched the red liquid escape down the drain; a mixture of her own blood and fresh water. She went into a trance, thinking deeply as she watched with strange contentment. The pain was a reminder to Bella that she was in control of her own life, if only for a second.

‎'Watch me fault her; you're living like a disaster. She said 'kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over, all over me.'' were the lyrics that were being repeated through her mind, she thought they suited her life perfectly.

The water stopped abruptly, confusing Bella to snap out of her trance in confusion.

She looked up to meet a pair of beautifully blue eyes, and she felt something make contact with her wrist, she tried to pull back, but the grip was firm yet careful.

Bella searched the face in front of her, Matt's, his eyes were filled with concern as he studied the new wounds that Bella had inflicted into her own wrists, his eyes even wondered over her scars from previous wounds. Neither of them spoke, Matt just reached for the towel rack that was to his to his left and lightly dabbed the towel onto her wounds, drying them. He the opened the cabinet in front of them, careful not to disturb the shattered glass that was stuck to the front. His eyes left Bella's wrist for the first time since he entered the bathroom. He scanned the cabinet and pulled out a tube; antiseptic cream. He squeezed a pea-sized amount of the cream onto his index finger and gently massaged it into Bella's wounds, she gasped quietly.

“I'm sorry,” Matt whispered, finally meeting Bella's eyes, he softly placed his lips over the wounds, kissing them, then wiped the cream from his lips. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny packet of plasters, and slowly peeled the backs off, placing them onto Bella's wrist.

Bella's eyes filled with curiosity, why would Matt carry round a box of plasters? “I've carried plasters round since you fell off the swing when we were five and cut your forehead.” he said in reply to Bella's unasked question. Bella allowed a loose smile to break onto her lips.

“Thank you.” she whispered, he just pulled her into a tight hug.

“You're too beautiful to hurt yourself. Life will always get better. You're so perfect, it's a shame to see you hurt, we may have lost contact but you still mean the world to me.” he whispered into Bella's ear, no hint of a lie, he meant every single word.

Tears escaped Bella's eyes, making them shimmer, she cried in silence, the tears hit Matt's hoodie so she gently stroked her hand over the smooth material, brushing away the tears and wiped her face with one hand and pulled away from Matt, giving him a weak smile.

For the first time Bella felt safe around someone other than her brother, Damen. 

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