Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella.

*Beautiful, Bipolar, Bella.* Chapter ten- From the characters' Point Of View.

Dedication: Because she gave me the insperation to write this<3

Matt's P.O.V.

It's had a month now, one whole month since I had been able to look into them beautiful eyes of hers, oh how I missed seeing her smile and knowing I was the one who made that smile possible. I blamed myself, myself for her attempted suicide. If I hadn't have stormed out like that then she would have still been healthy and conscious. But here I was, in her hospital room, I had ran out of tears to cry, I was left with dry sobs, I was weak and exhausted, I hadn't slept more than an hour a night for the past month.

I was killing myself slowly with exhaustion and starvation but I deserved it for what I had done to Bella. I was officially dead inside. I was numb, I was no longer in control of my thoughts. I knew that if Bella died then I would also. I couldn't live without her, not again.

I loved her too much to lose her, it pains me even to think about living a life without her.

The nurses had tried making me leave the room but after the fourth try they moved Bella into a private room so that I could stay. I hadn't eaten in so long. I had dark bags under my eyes, the blue that usually shone was dull now, and my skin was pale and I now had frown lines. To put it simply; I looked worse that a zombie. Sure, I kept up my hygiene by showering, brushing my teeth and wearing clean clothes but that's all I did in order to take care of myself. I was now a stone lighter than I was a month ago. Like I said; I was killing myself slowly and painfully but I deserved worse than this. I deserved to suffer in silence so that's what I did, I kept my shut and refused to speak to anyone.

Damen's P.O.V.

I was scared as hell, I couldn't lose my little sister, she was all I had, what would I so without her? I wanted to blame Matt more than anything but I just couldn't, he was even more torn up than me. He wouldn't even speak to me, he looked so fragile. I was worried about the both of them, I knew that if Bella died then that would be the end of Matt. I couldn't lose both of them, I just couldn't.

I spent two weeks in the hospital by Bella's side but decided it was best for me to go back to working for my dad, at least until Bella woke up.

It angers me that dad did not even care enough to visit his only daughter, she was his flesh and blood, his responsibility!

Bella's P.O.V.

I was aware of everything around me, aware of Matt's sobs but my eyes were too heavy to lift, I was trapped in my own mind and that scared me. I wanted to be able to hold Matt, tell him it wasn't his fault and kiss him. I wanted to be able to tell him I loved him, because I did, I do.

I was unable to move, my lungs burnt, my eyes stung, everywhere was aching and there was nothing I could do. All I wanted to do was wake up, I wanted to be in control of my own life and actions again but I didn't have the strength, all I could do to tell him that it was all going to be okay was to squeeze his hand, weakly once and hope he knew what I was telling him, hope he knew that I didn't blame him and that he shouldn't blame himself.

I was the cause of this situation, I was the one to blame.