Chapter 44//Ivan

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Visiting day
I decided that I won't be with another man, Jace was leaving U.S.A when he gets out and I don't want to go with him. 

I can't believe me and Emilio are over, I can't let it be over, I remember how hard it was in the comma and I can't take that anymore.

But when he came in my room, I looked at him and started to break down, he came up and hugged me.

Dad-OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
Ivan-Emilio, plz tell me that you didn't move on
Emilio-I'm never going to move on
Ivan-Good, because I want to try to be out in the real world again, with you, and I want to adopt a little baby girl you know
Emilio-Iv, let's take this one step at a time
Ivan-Your right, just I really want to move on with you, we wasted so much time already

Emilio looked at me and I know that he didn't like something I said, I hold his arms and he looked down.

Emilio-I do want that too but I'm scared about the whole us thing
Ivan-We can raise it to know that it is ok, that if you love your-
Emilio-But it's not ok,

I looked at him and I normally the one saying that, he let go and I didn't, he put his head on my shoulder and grabbed my chest.

Ivan-But I want this, we want this, we have been tho hell and back we can do this
Emilio-I know we can, just this is against the law

He looked me in the eyes and he looks tired, I looked at the clock and we have 45 minutes left.

Ivan-We will talk about it later, take a rest

I put him on the bed and he fell asleep on me, I fell asleep with him. I want him, I want all of him.

Dad-Just you wait

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