The Secrets We Keep (Formally WAIT)

Chapter 25

HIT THAT STAR BUTTON LOVIES!!

I raise my head and excuse myself to go to the bathroom.

As I make my way to the door my heart starts racing certainly that someone will know that I'm faking it and trying to ditch class. I let out a breath as I make it safely to the hallway. I see that Ryder is leaned up against the lockers opposite my classroom door and I slowly approach.

"Hi," I say awkwardly.

"Hi," he says smiling. He licks his lips and I can't help but notice that he has a freckle right on the corner of his mouth.

"Shall we?" he asks pointing down the hallway.

I nod and fall into step with his stride. It's an awkward minute of me thinking about the first time that we walked down a hallway. He pushed me against the wall and interrogated me about our first meeting. 

"Hey, Ryder?" I ask shyly. Maybe I shouldn't press it. He did get quick physical last time. 

"Hey, Lyssa?" he mimics back. "What's up?"

"Um, well, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, I mean I know you got really upset last time...I mean you pinned me against the wall, but...um...what happened that morning I saw you punching your locker?" I created a little more space between the two of us and glanced his direction.

From the side of his face that I could see, I could tell that he was deep in thought. Another minute passed before he finally said anything.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I-"

"No," I cut him off. "It's fine, I wasn't scared."

He stopped in his tracks and took a long look at me taking a step forward. I instinctively took a step backward but now I was up against the lookers.

"Lyssa, you're not fooling me, I know damn well that you were scared. And I'm sorry."

He took another step forward and my heartbeat started to pick up speed. He was only a foot away from me now and I could smell his cologne. He face was blank, or at least to me it was. I couldn't make out what his intentions were, but he took yet another step closer. I looked down the hallway to find them empty like they would be during the middle of class time. I started fidgeting and crossed my arms over my chest, digging my nails into the palms.

This is getting weird. I should move, but he's so close to me and I don't know how to move past him without him trying to touch me and stop me. 

Before I make a move, he reaches his hand out to my balled fist making me flinch away. I stare at the floor and I can feel his gaze on me. He touches me again, this time pulling my arms uncrossed and holding my fist in his hands. He tugs at my fingers that are clinched tightly, and slowly pries each one open. 

My heart is racing and I'm sweating. His grip is strong and I'm afraid to move. After opening my fist, he traces his fingers along the red indentations left by my fingernails. I didn't realize I was digging so hard into my hand. He sighs like he is angry and raises his other arm up toward my face. 

I instinctively bring my other arm up from around my face to shelter myself. He suddenly releases my hand and I bolt around him taking in some deep breathes now that I've created some distance between us. He isn't safe Lyssa, you shouldn't trust him.

"Lyssa," he says staring at me with a blank face, "what's wrong?"

I shake my head unable to speak. I want to run and hide, I want to cry, my chest is aching and I feel so embarrassed. This was a mistake, I shouldn't have agreed to hang out with him. This was a really stupid decision Lyssa. You need to go back to keeping your head down. Especially with Darren around.

My throat is burning as I bite my lip to try and stop myself from crying. His green eyes are locked with mine and he's waiting for me to reply.

God, I can't breathe. I feel the familiar tightening sensation in my chest and I know that if I don't leave here soon I'm going to explode in front of him. I can't let that happen. Why am I so f*cked up?

"Lyssa," he says taking a small step closer to me. "Lyssa, please, tell me what's wrong?"

I hear a door open and we both turn our heads to look down the hall. I can finally move my legs and I run back down the hall and into my classroom. When I walk in everyone turns to stare at me. I realize I must look like a freak and quickly take my seat heart still racing and my chest still aching. 

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Will they or won't they....

haha don't worry they will... maybe....

xoxo