The Secrets We Keep (Formally WAIT)

Chapter 34

When I got home last night, my mind was racing. I kept second guessing my decision to continue to see Ryder and spent most of my the night typing out a text saying that I had changed my mind.

But I didn't send it. I don't know why, but I figured I would just see how things went. I mean it's not like anyone else has to know that we're hanging out. Well, except Becca, I told her this morning before class started. I didn't mention anything about the fighting, I just said that we had talked things out and we're going to start hanging out again.

She literally started bouncing up an down when I told her. I've spent all three periods of today listening to her talk about his party tonight and how she had to make sure I looked HOT.

It was just after lunch and I was walking back to class when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I pulled it out and found a notification from Samantha, AKA Ryder. I decided to save his number as a girl's name for the next time that my parents steal my phone and decide to check my messages.

I swipe to open it and read his text. I couldn't help but feel excited that he texted me. I know I shouldn't get so emotional about him, and believe me I was trying, but I guess I enjoyed the distraction from life.

so I'll see you tonight yeah?

"yeah"

you still want to keep it dl right?

I leaned over to Becca and whispered, "What's D L mean?"

She giggled and replied, "Down Low, like quiet, under the radar."

She gave me a suggestive eyebrow raise and I rolled my eyes, turning back to my phone.

"yes. please."

no problem. I don't want Avery to have another rampage.

I'll just shoot you a txt when to meet me.

"Ok"

I locked my phone and placed it on top of my desk, waiting for the final bell to ring so that class would start.

This was going to be hard. Avery and Ryder are practically always within a small distance of each other because of their friend groups, the jocks and dance team. I don't know why he keeps hanging out with those people. I mean he doesn't really act like them when he's around me.

I'm nervous about tonight. I'm going to have to come up with an excuse for not being home tonight. I mean it wouldn't be realistic if I was at work. Maybe I could say that I was with Ash? But then I don't want Darren to get the wrong idea about me seeing Ash. I don't want him to think that I've said anything.

Hm, maybe I could say I got a flat tire on the way home. I could say that it took a while for me to change it myself, and that's why I was home so late. But, I don't know if that would be that believable, considering I work at a mechanic shop.

Or, maybe I could say I was working on an assignment at Becca's. And we didn't finish until late because we ate dinner and had to do a lot of research? But then could ask to see the assignment. I could say that it's at Becca's, we printed it out and that she has it. I think that's pretty believable. Plus, they can't be that mad if it was for a school assignment right?

Becca suddenly kicks my foot and I look over with a "What the heck?" expression to see her nodding her head to the front of the class.

"Lyssa, are you with us?"

"What? Oh. Yes Mr. Price," I say dying of embarrassment.

"What did Brahmstoker mean on page 93?"

"Oh, um," I fumble to find page 93 in the book on my desk, "Um, sorry, um--"

"Nevermind, AJ, what did he mean?"

The look of disappointment Mr. Price gives me makes me want to bury myself in a hole. I spend the rest of the class thinking about what an idiot I looked like in class and sigh with relief when class ends.

The last class of the day goes by quickly, and I soon find myself mindlessly driving to work, anxious about tonight. I could barely focus on the paperwork I had to do, and things only got worse when Ash made an effort to ignore me.

Ash has always been there, and we hardly ever actually fight, so this is the first time that we've actually gone without talking for probably the first time in my entire life. It's just like Darren to ruin the last real relationship that I have with my family. I might as well just not exist at this point. I mean that would keep Ash safe right? And that would probably make mom and Avery jump for joy. It's always felt like my mom liked Avery more like she was her real daughter and I was the step-child.

I pick up my phone and find several texts. I open the ones from Ryder first.

hey

what are you wearing tonight?

I'm going as Danny from Grease

"hey. I'm going as a deer."

I open the messages from Becca to find a series of photos of different makeup looks and outfits, asking what size shoe I am and what time I'm going to get to her house.

"I'm a 7.5 shoe size. And I'll be over around 9:30."

A message alert pops up and I quickly tap it to read Ryder's response.

a deer? hmm, I can't picture it. Don't tell me it's like a proper costume?

I chuckle aloud to myself before responding.

"no, not a proper costume. not that you would know, but it's mainly just about makeup."

I see the typing bubbles pop up and I anxiously wait to read what he says.

Okay lol I'll just have to wait and see. What time do you think you'll be here?

"Maybe 10:30? idk it's all down to Becca, she's driving and in charge of my costume."

Ok I'll see you then :)

Smiling, I exit the app and stare at my phone's background: a picture of Ash and me from last summer. I release a sigh of frustration and flip my phone over.

Surprisingly it's already 8 pm. I grab another mini KitKat from the bowl on the counter and devour it in two bites. I think I've consumed most of the bowl of candy as a substitute for dinner.

The bell on the door dings as a delivery man enters.

"Hi, food for Ashton?"

"Yeah, I'll take it."

"Cool, can you sign this receipt?"

"Yeah," I say grabbing a pen from my desk and leaning over the counter to sign the receipt. I leave him a tip and he thanks me before heading out.

I carry the bag of Chinese food into the break room and yell into the garage, "Food's here!"

I quickly place all the boxes onto the table and serve myself before they arrive and consume it all. As I'm leaving, I almost drop my plate of food on myself when I run into Ash in the doorway.

"Sorry," I say smiling apologetically.

"It's fine," he says cooly, pushing past me into the room.

Mikey witnesses our cold exchange and shoots me a smile telling me to ignore Ash's dumbass behavior. I smile halfheartedly and make my way back to the front desk to eat my food.

I hate lying.