I just realised
for the first time in ages
I'm having a lot of fun
I'm really tired, but I don't want to fall asleep, because that would ruin everything.
The movie is really long and for a moment, we hold hands.
His hands are warm. like the warmth of being in one of those fancy massage chairs.
The moment felt long and blissful, but he pulled away and turned to me.
'Jaz?' he says, his eyes widening. They're misty, like morning fog.
A chill runs down my body.
'Y-yeah?' I stutter, tying to remain calm and collected.
He lifts his hand and touches my cheek.
It was then I blushed redder than Id ever been.
He gets closer, and for a moment he's ready to kiss me,
but, of course his parents burst open the door and he pulls away.
'Oh Jaz, you're still here?' His mum says, surprised.
she grabs hold of my hand and drags me to another room.
I'm confused....
She smiles and hugs me. 'Do you love him?' she says.
I don't know how to anser, but I think I should tell her.
'In trust you won't tell him, yes, more than anything in the world'
I say. She hugs me tight, just like my mother does.
I tremble and explore the house. I step into a small room, kind of like a study, with pictures of a middle aged boy, in a soccer uniform. Nathan's brother, Conrad. Conrad died when Nathan was a second year student, of a blood diasese. He'd had it all his life, but the problem grew faster than a rocket and eventually killed him. He slowly died, so it was no surprise.
I know of this, because Nathan had a long time off school and my mother was treating Conrad as a community service. She was upset too.
I run my finger down the frames. Its brass. There's cards and letters stacked.
Nathan creeps behind me but I pretend I don't hear him.
I hear the click of the camera, which probably means he's filming me.
For just a minute, I stand there, and admire the pictures.
