I missed the next 4 days of school.
Every day I got calls and texts from Nathan.
He doesn't have to be so annoying.
My mobile buzzes again.
This time, I answer it.
"J, you picked up. Why haven't you been answering, more importantly why aren't you at school??!?!?! Everyone is so worried about you what's happening?!?" He panicks.
The line is quiet, until I finally say something.
"Nothing...I'm just not feeling well."
He's not convinced.
"Then why didnt you pick up my calls, that's obviously not what's wrong, here" He says.
I get mad,
"Look, I don't need you knowing every speck of my life, why do you care? Just leave me alone." I blurt.
Great.
"Well, if that's how you feel"
the line cuts off.
Stupid, stupid me.
All these mixed emotions are overpowering my thoughts.
I can't think properly, so i just cry.
Again.
What have I turned myself into?
Im not strong anymore, I can't hold on anymore.
I'm scared and oblivious. I'm scared of being confronted and I'm scared of people leaving me. What will I do when she dies?
How will I cope?
Will I be sent to an orphanage?
What will happen to me?
I sit up and turn on my laptop.
For a while I just check Facebook, and then Nathan tries to skype me.
It's obviously not the time for that, but I answer anyway.
"What?" I sniffle, wiping away tears.
"I'm worried about you. I know you don't want to talk and everything but I'm worried because its hard to hear a bright bubbly girl lose hope so quickly. I guess what I'm saying is get over it." he says.
Get over it?
Get over the fact my mother is going to fucking die?
"Are you kidding me? You want to know what happened? Well basically my mum is going to fucking die in about 3 weeks and you're telling me to get over that? You're bullshit! You don't even realise the feeling!" I yelled, crying.
He hangs up.
I revise what I said in my head.
"you dont know the feeling"
What have I done?
(HAI I KNOW THIS IS A HELLA SHORT CHAPTER BUT I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ILL BE DOING NATHANS P.O.V ALOT IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS ILY PLS RATE AND COMMENT OR I CRI PLS)
