Chapter 12

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I blankly stared at the pink wall as my head intentionally repeated what happened and what he said. I am still afraid of him. More particularly when he gave me that angry look, unable to let myself stop thinking it was all my fault.

But it really was, right? It was a stupid idea to wander alone especially by yourself. SPECIALLY when you don't really know where to go.

"To be familiarize at that certain area" seems to be a foolish reason to make. No, it's really stupid.

I could've ask Sonic after he wakes up, rather than going alone by myself. There's so many ways to avoid that unnecessary trouble. I'm just really dumb

I also got them into trouble. They had just wasted their time to save me and come for me.

Is that why my parents left me? Because I'm a silly one to be their child. Not using my head to be able to think rationally. Just jumping right into decisions without pondering it twice.

"I know what you're thinking. I know what happened. But I can assure you that grump-hog is just concern about you. But none of it was your fault. It wasn't everyone's fault. Don't blame yourself. Nobody wanted that to happen" Rouge said, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving me a warm smile

"Since when did you-" I stopped. I just lost the words to say.

"I was knocking on your door two times like a minute ago. But I didn't receive any response. So I concluded to open the door myself, only to find you here. Just staring at the wall, seemingly overthinking" She explained as she inched closer to ms

"Oh, sorry. I just spaced out" I tried to smile back

I noticed Rouge's the brief way when she looked at me. Was it disbelief?

"Rouge, why does Shadow hates me?" My mouth suddenly spoke

Rouge looked at me, stopping for a second, thinking how to explain.

When I was about to apologize, she sighed and spoke.

"He doesn't hate you. Just like what I have said earlier, he's just concerned for your safety. Everyone is. If he is really angry at you, or doesn't really care, he won't come and save you along with Sonic. Besides, you're new here. He's afraid of what might happen to you. So please, stop blaming yourself" She gave me a closed eye smile

"I see" I said slowly nodding

Bur despite her comforting and even using the best choice of words to also assure me, I am still unconvinced.

"How is everyone doing?" I asked, changing the subject

"They're fine. They're doing what they usually do" Rouge shrugged

"I'm really sorry for getting you guys in trouble" I frowned as my head hung low

"Aw (Y/N). Come on, don't blame yourself about what happened. Like Sonic said, it's only our duty to save a friend. This isn't new to us, you shouldn't be worried" said Roige

I remained silent. I jusy keep on looking at the ground. I didn't mean to be so dramatic. I just-

"Okay, let's forget about it" She smiled again, holding both of my hands

"Let's talk about something" She grinned

This feeling...

I looked at her teal eyes. The brief way she looked at me lately. I guess it wasn't really the look of disbelief huh? But the look of something she want to avoid, but have to do it anyway. I mentally shook my head. Rouge can't be that. She's a good person, right?

"O-okay"I stuttered

"How was your world like?" She asked

Again. This is something that brought me to tears, something she said she won't talk about anymore, but why?

I glanced again at her teal eyes. I narrowed my eyes. It's like she's really hiding something

"How your life was like..."She asked, starting to slightly trail off from her words

I look at her. She was like spacing out this time. She was narrowing her eyes slightly, but she's not looking at me. She's rather showing guilt (?)

Guilt? But why?

Could it be this is not her doing? Not her own will I mean

Or maybe, she sensed something off on my first answer when she quoted the same question. Then maybe she told the others, and some might got suspicious, and it ended up by her asking me the same questions again

"I'll tell you"I sighed sadly

I just don't want them to see me as suspicious person. Not in a suspicious way, but this is my chance. No more lying, no more hiding. They trust me, they have been nice to me, they saved me. They called me their friend. And deep inside, I know, I also call them my friend

But should I really talk about my past? What if that will be the reason they end up dumping me? I don't know. But if I keep hiding the truth, just keep suffering in silence they might not trust me and I will keep hurting

This is confusing me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what is must

But I think so, that this time, I will do what I think is right

"Sorry Rouge. I lied to you"I admitted

Before she can say anything, I continued

"My life wasn't that great. I was lying to you the whole time, I was lying to everyone. I want to keep my past hidden. But I guess there's no secret that won't be find out, right? My parents abandoned me since I was young. Everyday, I learned to survive and help myself. Have my needs and all. My friends betrayed me, our friendship was nothing but a dare. Without that dare, I am still lonely. That is what really happened. I lied about having a family, yes. I'm sorry Rouge. It's just hard" I started to lightly sob

But I quickly wiped my tears away. Still, I didn't look at her eyes. When I look up, Rouge was looking at me. Sadness, shock, and guilt now can be seen in her teal eyes

"(Y/N), I'm so, so, so sorry"She continued to apologize

"I didn't know. I didn't know any better. I don't want to trigger any bad memories. I'm so stupid. I-i-"She looked like she was going to say something else

But didn't even open her mouth anyway

"I-i gotta go. I-i need to find the emeralds. I n-need to help them"She suddenly stood up

She opened the door and walked out

"There. You heard her" I heard Rouge said to whoever she was talking to

But that person didn't answer. I felt like the person just stared or glared at her before I heard them walking downstairs

Just like I said, she was sent by someone to ask me this things. I know they don't trust me. Not all of them I mean. Can't really blame them if I have the same feeling though

I came from the other world on their point of view, and they came from this different world in my view. So there's no blaming Shadow why he sent Rouge.

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