Head Bi In Charge

Chapter Three

Madelaine's Point of View

I still feel bad for I and the other girls did to Nessa. Seeing her so affected by our compliments makes me wonder how low her self esteem is. Still I am so excited to play girlfriends with her! I feel like it will not only be a challenge for me professionally but also an amazing representation of things that still happen to this day like gay conversion therapy and abusive homes for gay kids.

''Hey babe, what are you doing?'' Travis asks, laying in bed with me. I still haven't told him about the kiss, but he knew about the Choni relationship. Travis was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for but he does get a little bit jealous when other people get to kiss me on the show. Somehow he believes that he is super out of my league and that I could easily dump him.

''Just editing a youtube video.'' I explain, showing him the final cut pro file. He nods in response, distracting himself on his phone. ''Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.''

''What's up?'' He questions, putting his phone and directing all of his attention to me.

''Well you know how Vanessa and I are girlfriends on the show?'' Travis just nods. '' Well the other day at the table read we received the script for this week's episodes and. Well. Choni is going to share their first kiss.'' I explain to him, setting my computer aside, waiting for his reaction. It takes him a little bit to come to earth and reply. For a couple second he just stared at me, lips slightly parted.

''I see.'' Is all he says.

''Well? Do you have anything to say?'' I ask, a bit annoyed and worried at the lack of response.

''Mads I wasn't comfortable with you kissing KJ. I wasn't comfortable with you kissing Ross. And I can assure you Vanessa is the one that makes me the least comfortable.'' Travis finally confesses, although I can't quite understand his constant distress.

''Why though? She's a girl. Not just some girl, she is my best friend!'' I say a bit more aggressive than what I intend.

''Exactly. Look I know you are way too oblivious but literally everyone else has picked on the fact that Vanessa is heads over heels for you. Ever since you two got in the show together you have been a lot more flirty with her, which I know is your normal state. But it isn't hers. And you keep feeding her love for you. She is so beautiful, I will easily lose you to her.'' Travis is now standing up. I know he is just worried about our relationship but there was no need to make up such a thing.

''Vanessa? Vanessa Morgan? That goddess? In love with me? Right Trav. If you are jealous you can just admit it, but don't come making things up.'' I tell him, getting my computer and leaving the house. I had to go to set anyways to shoot Riverdale. I hate leaving in the middle of fights, but this just wasn't making any sense! Vanessa always tells me everything, and she had never told me she was gay.

I arrive at the set of Riverdale and go to my trailer, closing myself there so I can finish editing my video in peace. Shortly after, someone knocks on my door, my hairdresser, warning me that I had to go meet with the rest of the cast at the make up booth. There I find Vanessa cuddling her dog, Yoshi.

''Look Yosh! There is auntie!'' Vanessa says in a high pitched voice. The small dog barks and wiggles his tail. I walk over to them and pat Yoshi.

''Ready for another great Choni shoot?'' She asks me, smiling. I just nod in response, hugging my nephew. ''You okay? I imagined you would be a little more excited.''

''Me and Travis had a small fight. Nothing major tho. Perhaps it will help with all the loopy scenes I have ahead.'' I smile softly and she smiles back, rubbing my back. Something she often did to calm me down and show support. I look in her eyes, searching for any of the things she was accused of but I only find the same full brown eyes staring back at me, the ones that I have always seen.

We start filming the scene at the bathroom, nothing too hard, it takes two hours tops. When Vanessa touches my arm, asking Cheryl to tell Toni what was really going on, I feel a weird feeling at the bottom of my chest, like ice cubes had been accommodated there.

Later on we record the scene where Toni asks Cheryl to go watch Love, Simon with her. This scene was pretty fun to film since Vanessa kept making jokes about how she couldn't keep a straight face when I was making such flirtatious eyes, only for the rest of the cast to yell out that ''You are suppose to be Bi, you don't keep a straight face!''. At the movie theater we keep eating all the popcorn that was given to us while the crew sets up the lights and cameras. While we were eating our hands accidentally brush against each other, giving my chest the same chilling feeling on my chest. I notice Vanessa looking away and blushing. How adorable, she always blushes when stuff like this happens.

Now we were about to shoot one of my favourite Choni scenes on the script.

I sit as Cheryl Blossom on a stool at Pop's while Vanessa is being her Toni self on the stool next to mine. While we drink milkshakes, I tell Toni about Heather, coming out of closet to her. It is like I can feel Vanessa's face tense and her breath catch when I say ''Her name was''. I couldn't tell if she had broken character or if it was just Toni getting surprised at the confession. When I finish talking she starts her own speech.

''Cheryl I am so sorry. But you have to know your mother is wrong. You are not loveless. You are not deviant, okay?'' Vanessa holds my hand, something that wasn't on the script. I look at her as an instinct. Her eyes held such tenderness within them. I don't think I had ever seen someone look so softly at me. Her words came off her mouth like she wasn't even acting anymore.

''You're sensational.'' She finishes, and for a while we just stare at each other. Tears are still running down my face from my own lines, but the look in her eyes just tells me that everything will be okay. That the words that lingered from her mouth into my ears were the absolute truth.

''And cut!'' Roberto yells, snapping me and Vanessa back to reality. ''That was perfect ladies! Vanessa that was a great addition, the hand holding stuff. So much chemistry between you two. Lovely you are done for today!'' He says it all too quickly for me understand it all. Only when the crew begins cleaning up our props does Vanessa let go of my hand, making me feel cold and empty.

I finally saw it. I finally see what Travis meant.

That night I didn't sleep because a certain pink haired girl kept filling up my mind. Her words, her lips, her hair. Her hand wrapped around mine. She being in love with me was fine, I see no problem with it but I during my sleepless hours in bed I realized something much worse. Something that could either mean something wonderful, or something terrible. Oh god. Oh god. What have I done? What am I going to do?

Okay. Calm down. No need to overreact. You had a fight with Travis so your heart was a little vulnerable. Certainly tomorrow you will realize that it was just your anxiety freaking you out. I close my eyes and the same caramel skinned girl pops in my head. Her pearl white teeth, her skinny body.

Fuck.