Head Bi In Charge

Chapter Five

Madelaine's Point of View

I can't tell if that party was the worst mistake of my life or the best thing ever. I definitely clears up my mind on where Vanessa and Travis stand for me. God I never thought this would turn out like this. My life with Travis was all planned out, my parents love him, I love him. Or so I thought. I am sure my parents wouldn't mind if I dated a girl, they are very open minded but how come I only find this out now! With my best friend too. Did I ever even love Travis? Maybe he was some kind of cover up?

These are all things that go on in my mind while I just lay in bed, in my pajamas, staring at the ceiling. I have been ignoring Travis for maybe the past month. We still talk and kiss every now and then but I have been sleeping more at Nessa's and Lili and Cami's house than my own. Lili and Camila told me they found out that Vanessa liked me after overhearing a conversation she was having with Drew over the phone. How this beautiful redheaded girl was slowly stealing her heart away without even knowing it. Of course that redhead could only be me.

V and I talked about it.

''Vanessa do you love me?'' I ask her while we are sitting at her couch at the house she was sharing with Skeet.

''Of course I love you, Mads! You are my best friend.'' She replied. Of course she would say that.

''No, I mean, love love. Like, girlfriend love.'' I insist, making her look away with teary eyes. ''Why didn't you tell me?''

''This was not what was supposed to happen okay! But your pretty eyes and beautiful smile, your full lips, your perfect red hair. And how you support me and you are always happy. I just. I just couldn't fight it.'' She explains, tears running down her eyes.

''I... I don't want you to fight it, Nessa.'' I hold her chin up, making her look into my eyes. '' I just want time... To figure out what I am feeling. I feel something, but I am scared of how powerful it is.'' I explain. She hugs me tightly and I hug back. I feel safe in her arms, she feels warm, she feels like home.

This was a few days ago. Now I must confront Travis, because my mind is finally set. I was too slow, since he entered the room, sitting down next to may laying body.

''I have barely seen you these past weeks. Are you okay? Are we okay?'' He genuinely questions in concern, his hand resting on my thigh. I sit up to look at him better, my hand resting on his.

''Oh Travis. You are so good to me.'' I start. He quickly interrupts.

''I feel a but coming.''

''But... I must confess something. At Cami's party, Vanessa and I kissed. And.... and we have to film a sex scene planned for Choni.'' I pause my sentence but he doesn't say anything, just removes his hand from my thigh to nervously play with it. ''It was... It is really hard to put it in a way that won't hurt you. But the connection I feel with her is just beyond anything I have ever felt with anyone, ever. You are the best boyfriend in the world and you deserve someone that treats you like such, but...'' I stop to clean my tears.

''But that isn't you'' He finishes for me. ''I really do love you Madelaine and because of that I just want you to be with someone that makes you happy and treats you like the princess that you are. I don't regret the past year that we have been together. I grew as a person with you. But I will kindly ask you to get out of my house. Because from now on it will be even more heartbreaking to see you.'' His voice is raspy, I can tell that he wants to cry.

''Of course. Can I come get my things in the morning? Don't worry, I will not be sleeping here tonight.'' I say between tears. It hurts even more how peaceful he is. It would be easier if he just yelled at me.

''Whatever, Madelaine.'' There is a numb feeling to his voice. God I feel like shit for doing this to him. I grab a bag a put some clothes inside, just an outfit for tomorrow and pajamas. I grab my house keys and open the door.

''Bye Travis.'' But there is no response, so I just leave the house I have been living for almost two years, and drive to my safe place. Vanessa's.

Skeet opens the door, worry instantly laying in his eyes.

''Madelaine? Are you okay?'' He questions. I give him a fake smile through the tears.

''Is uh.. Is Vanessa home?'' I slowly go inside the huge house when Skeet steps aside.

''Yea, she is in the movies room, just chilling.'' He says, I ran towards the underground room and open the big door. Something is playing on the big screen and I can see a head.

''Nessa?'' I say between sniffing. The head quickly turns around.

''Mads? Are you okay?'' She gets up and runs to me. When her arms wrap around my body I completely explode from emotions and cry my heart out.

''I hurt him so much V! He did nothing wrong and I hurt him!'' I basically scream into her chest as we are sitting down on the chairs from the room.

''Shhh it's okay sweetie. It's okay. Let it all out.'' And I do. I think I let years of repression I didn't know I was holding out. I have never been so vulnerable in front of anyone. Not even Travis. Yet I felt so safe and loved. Vanessa keeps hugging me and rubbing my back. I eventually stop crying and just look at her, without knowing what to say.

''What do you going to do now?'' She asks, cleaning my tears.

''Would you mind if I stayed with you and Skeet for a while? Just until I find a place of my own here in Vancouver.'' I practically beg.

''You can stay for as long as you need Mads. But wouldn't you be more comfortable staying maybe with Lili and Cami?'' Vanessa plays with my hair, twirling my long locks on her fingers.

''Their house is pretty stuffed already. I mean Cole spends a lot of time there too. I just don't want to bother them.'' I explain, gazing into Vanessa's eyes. They hold so much compassion and love, I could stare at them for the longest time. It upsets me the fact that I only realized I loved her now. I would of saved Travis for getting in between this mess. Nessa caresses my face, her hand so soft and gentle I can't help but melt against her touch.

''I will get your room ready then. I should warn you that Drew and Jordan moved in too. Not that we don't have space too, I am just giving you a heads up about the stupid amount of testosterone in the house'' She gets up but I hold onto her hand so she can't leave.

''I want to stay with you.''

''My room will be right next door, silly'' She replies, clearly not understanding what I mean. I get up and stand really close to her face, completely invading her personal space.

''No. I mean in your room, in your bed. With you.'' I can feel her catch her breath and look at my lips and back at my eyes.

''Oh- Okay. Are you sure?'' Vanessa asks, picking up my bag that was sloppy laid on the floor. I just nod in response. That night I slept wrapped around her embrace. There wasn't any sexual tension. Just pure love and concern.