Jays POV
"Um okay, jay.. when I was 15, my father-
She began to say but stopped herself so I grabbed her hand and kissed it. I held it in mine and gently caressed the back of it. I saw tears forming in the rims of her eyes and whipped them away with my free hand before they could fall
"Okay, I'm going to start from the beginning." She said and I nodded. "Well when I was younger I used to have what I thought was the perfect life, my dad and mom we're my best friends, I had no car in the world, we were financially stable, I had everything I wanted and more. My dad had a 6-figure job and still had enough time to spend with me. Then when I was around maybe 12 or 13, my dad lost his job. It took a toll on all of us financially and emotionally. Right after he lost it he started drinking, and coming home late. Sloppy drunk. My mother would wait up until he came home and take care of him every time. But one day she was fed up with it, she was so mad." She said like she was in a trans, thinking back to those times
"I remember watching from the stairs, she was yelling at him and I saw the their shadows. His hand raised and he smacked the shit out of her. She backed into the wall and he grabbed her up. Then it was like something switched and he went from being rough to gentle and went from hitting her to apologizing and kissing her. Then after that it was like a repeating thing, he found a job but it wasn't as good as his old one. We still managed to keep our house and everything in it. But he would still come home drunk hit her then ask for forgiveness and like a dummy she forgave him. Every time. He even went as far as raping her and she still took him back. I could never understand that.." She paused then shook her head head in disgust
"I remember never wanting to be in the same room as him and resenting him sooo much. I hated that man for what he did to her." I said feeling a tear fall down my cheek, Then about 2 years later, she found out she was pregnant. When she told us we were overjoyed, the whole family. He even got a new job that paid even more, stop coming home drunk and late. I eventually forgave him and we were all back to where we started. That happy family, until maybe 7 months into the pregnancy, he came back home so mad. He went straight to my mother and started beating her. She was pregnant!" She yelled like she still couldn't believe what he did. "And he was beating her like she was a nigga off the streets. I grabbed a bat and did my best to fight him and get him off of her. But he grabbed the bat and threw it. And did something I could never imagine him doing to me, his babygirl." She said biting her lip with tears coming down her face. I whipped them but that was pointless since the just kept falling. I pulled her into my chest and hugged her. Rubbing little circles on her back until she calmed down. When she did she pulled back and looked at me
"Bey, you don't have to finish if you don't want to." I said and she shook her head
"No, I want to. I feel like I need to tell you why I am the way I am before you jump to conclusions." She said wiping her tears with her hands but I pulled them away and wiped them myself.
"Stop you going to irritate your eyes." I said and she nodded and let me wipe them then continued
"My dad beat me that day, he punched me, kicked me, he even hit me with a bat. Then after he did all of that he..he-
"He raped you?" I asked angrily and she bit her lip and nodded her head while crying again.
"He even came in me." She said and I flexed my jaw. I was so angry. Who the hell does that.
"I was so distraught I didn't even see my mother unconscious in a pool of her own blood. I pushed away all my thought and called the police. My dad told me to get myself cleaned up and when they came I rode in the truck while he followed us. When we got there we sat in the waiting room, seats away. I was so stuck on what just happened to me I forgot why we were at the hospital. But when I herd family of Tina knowles I pushed that aside and just hoped my mother was still alive. I saw so much blood on Venessa's shirt. She was her doctor, as soon as she said I'm sorry it felt like all the emotions left my body. I didn't even cry right then and there. Then Venessa asked my father if he'd ever put his hands on her and he lied and said no. She pulled me into a room alone and asked me and I told her the truth. She told me she was a friend of my moms and that my dad wouldn't be able to get to me now." She said sighing hard then looking down at her hands
"I remember begging her not to tell on him because he was the only person I had left. I hated him so much but he was literally the last person I had." She said letting me wipe her tears away
"Until her. She took me in like I was her own. And my brother, he took me under his wing and protected me. I love them so much." I said thinking of one happy thing
"I still remember how depressed I got when I found out that I was pregnant, with my fathers child. How fucked up is that?!" She yelled shaking her head.
"My mom took me to get an abortion and I've never thought about is since now." She said just breaking down and I pulled her in and rubbed her back gently. She buried her face in my neck and I felt hot tears streaming down my neck. And I pulled her closer. She gripped my shirt and squeezed it while she broke down. I hated seeing her cry, this was the first time she's ever really cried in front of me and it's really getting to me. I really had a soft spot for all of the women in my life.
"Baby god puts us in some tough situations, but we come out stronger And better. You turned out so well, you beautiful, smart, successful, kindhearted, and so much more. Don't let this determine your future, you haven't did it yet so don't start now." I said kissing her forehead and rubbing her back. I continued to do that until she calmed down and I herd light snores and felt steady breathing on my neck.
I laid her down and tried to get up but she groaned and gripped my shirt.
"Jay noo." She said weakly and pulled me back down. I just let her and got us both under the covers and she snuggled more into me. While I held her closer
I can't believe she went through all of that traumatic stuff. She's been through things no one should be forced to be through. I just want to make her happy, and put a smile on her face. She deserves it, and she has such a beautiful soul. Her looks are just a plus. I kissed her forehead and watched her for a little longer making sure she was asleep before falling asleep myself.
